Bruce Eric Kaplan Quotes

My dad has sometimes felt that I grew up a little lacking in sufficient eccentricity - in the sense that I'm willing to live as an adult in a house with walls that are parallel to each other, that sort of thing.

I love wines, except when I'm dieting.

I definitely think we should not serve alcoholic beverages at the lunch break.

I think everyone thinks their dad is a little bit odd or crazy. As they get older, they develop their own little habits. They have a certain way that they like to live their life, and nothing is going to interrupt that.

Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.

I am trying to cultivate the notion that constantly misplacing one's cell phone is a charming eccentricity... my children aren't buying it.

At home, I had seven brothers, one sister. I sewed clothes for my sister's dolls although she was grown and gone away. I was a weirdo but didn't think I was a weirdo.

Wine is wont to show the mind of man.

I don't drink wine during the day. Not even a little. Otherwise, the rest of the day is an apology.

At my house, I have a wine and beer fridge. It's got everything. The beer is at 38 degrees, and the wine is at 50 degrees. We take it seriously, but I'm actually not that big of a drinker.

Beer is such an integral part of the Indian culture.

I drink no cider, but feast on Philadelphia beer.

Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense

If you're gonna do something weird, just have one thing be weird.

Everybody get drunk and make bad decisions.

Steven [Sebring] just fell in with my family life. He helped me wash the dishes and play with the kids. I could tell that he was a person who understood families.

Wine has been to me a firm friend and wise counselor. Often...wine has shown me matters in their true perspective, and has, as though by the touch of a magic wand, reduced great disasters to small inconveniences.

A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it.

Another little drink wouldn't do us any harm.

Do not be in a hurry to rush into the pleasures of the world like the young antelope who danced herself lame when the main dance was yet to come.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

America's craft brewers know that beer, not wine, is the best beverage for accompanying a good meal.

Austin and I proceeded to knock back a couple of Ketel One and grapefruit juices, which happened to be my drink of the moment. Someone told me that grapefruit was a great detoxifier and I decided I wanted to start cleaning out my liver WHILE I was having a cocktail.

Two simple principles lie at the bottom of the whole matter, and they may be precipitated into two rules. The first is that, when there is a choice, the milder drink is always the better-not merely the safer but the better. The second is that no really enlightened drinker ever takes a drink at a time when he has any work to do. There is, of course, more to it than this; but these are sufficient for the beginner, and even the virtuoso never outgrows them.

I tell a lot of interesting stories and talk about my background and have a lot of fun. We have a lot of pictures. They actually came to my house and shot me painting my toenails and doing dishes. But I never really do the dishes.