Kim Harrison Quotes

I've never had a message for anyone in my entire life. Except maybe to give out my room number.

Wit is the epitaph of an emotion.

I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

There's no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature - the malice of a good thing is the barb that makes it stick.

You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

"Oh!" said my aunt, "I was not aware at first to whom I had the pleasure of objecting."

That would be like making a pact with Lucifer. (Zarek) Yes, but I don’t smell like sulfur. And I happen to dress better. Luc always looks like a pimp. (Dionysus)

There was a sound like a human yawn, and then the skull turned slightly toward me and asked, "What's up, boss?" "Evil's afoot." "Well, sure," Bob said, "because it refuses to learn the metric system. Otherwise it'd be up to a meter by now.

Whoa!" he says with a smile. The wrinkles at the corners of his eyes deepen. "Chicken salad a la George Orwell!

There's a ghost in this house! An unquiet spirit!" Unquiet spirit?" Shane said under his breath. "Is that politically correct for pissed off? You know, like Undead American or something?

Holly: Seriously, you don't like unicorns? What kind person doesn't like unicorns? Justine: What kind of a person doesn't like zombies? What have zombies ever done to you? Holly: Zombies shamble. I disapprove of shambling. And they have bits that fall off. You never see a unicorn behaving that way. Justine: I shamble. Bits fall off me all the time: hair, skin cells. Are you saying you disapprove of me?

I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

“There is no drama so great as that of a teenage girl,” ... “Except yours.”

I've got an air mattress for a bed...really living the high life.

Really, these wizards! You'd think no one had ever had a cold before! Well, what is it?" she asked, hobbling through the bedroom door onto the filthy carpet. "I'm dying of boredom," Howl said pathetically. "Or maybe just dying.

Now that was informative" were her first words. "Catherine, you never told me that no matter how many times you sliced something off a vampire, it grew back" Charming, "Guess I don't have to ask if you had a nice time.

Truth, when witty, is the wittiest of all things.

Summer, as my friend Coleridge waggishly writes, has set in with its usual severity.

Unicorns," I said. "Very dangerous. You go first.

You need to know where to go,' Sanya said. 'Yes,' 'And you are going to consult four large pizzas for guidance.' 'Yes,' I said. ...'There is, I think, humour here which does not translate well from English into sanity.' 'That's pretty rich coming from the agnostic Knight of the Cross with a holy Sword who takes his orders from an archangel.' I said. - Harry Dresden & Sanya, Changes, Jim Butcher

The ratman froze, staring at me. "Why are you laughing?" His voice held just a hint of unease. Good. I was hoping that the vampires would come for me soon and save me. You've got to admit that's funny.

I turned my air conditioner the other way around and it got cold out. The weatherman said 'I don't understand it. It was supposed to be 80 degrees out today.' I said, oops

Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.

You know, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.' 'And yet it is still extremely funny.

Where would I be without my sense of direction.