Henny Youngman Quotes

For years it never occurred to me to question the judgment of those in charge at the studio.

It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.

Reasonable orders are easy enough to obey; it is capricious, bureaucratic or plain idiotic demands that form the habit of discipline.

Those who know the least obey the best.

Any fool can make a rule And any fool will mind it.

Rules that are not stringently upheld are more likely to get broken.

Children must be rendered reasonable, but not reasoners. The first thing to teach them is that it is reasonable for them to obey, and unreasonable for them to dispute.

Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing.

The man the state has put in place must have obedient hearing to his least command when it is right, and even when it's not.

The voice of authority speaks not for the one but for the many; authority figures have a strong and rapid effect on social norms in part because they change our assumptions about what other people think.

Why have a rule if you're not going to enforce it?

We must respect the referee every time.

Whoever they want me to fight, I'm going to fight. So I really don't care.

If my coach told me to go run them bleachers, you didn't ask no questions. I turned around and started running until he said stop.

All I do is get up in the morning and go where I'm told to go.

I was raised to please people in authority, and I'd also come from a sheltered boarding school, so I was very naive and young for my years.

I do whatever the vets tell me to do.

My parents were very strict and had rules for me and, if ever I was playing outside, I always had a set time to come back in.

The only requirement of a fan or a patient is the surrender to authority.

I never joined the Boy Scouts. I don't trust any organization that has a handbook.

Obedience to authority saves many skins

Every good servant does not all commands.

Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.

We are not obedient because we are blind, we are obedient because we can see.

I named my dog Stay, so I can say, 'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!