Jackie Mason Quotes

Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.

My parents had a wonderful marriage, but it was a very dependent relationship. My mother was entirely dependent on my father because that's how it was in those days.

In traditional Hindu families like ours, men provided and women were provided for. My father was a patriarch and I a pliant daughter. The neighborhood I'd grown up in was homogeneously Hindu, Bengali-speaking, and middle-class. I didn't expect myself to ever disobey or disappoint my father by setting my own goals and taking charge of my future.

Women tend to be preservers of the social structure, of marriage. They don't want to upset their husbands or their significant others. They don't want to hurt people.

I know not which lives more unnatural lives, obeying husbands, or commanding wives.

That is partly why women marry - to keep up the fiction of being in the hub of things.

None of my sisters are in the movies, nor are my nieces going to be. That's how Dutt 'sahab,' my dad, brought up the girls in the family, and I am just carrying his thought forward.

It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.

Some husbands regard it as their prerogative to compel their wives to fit their standards of what they think to be the ideal.

I had to keep from laughing when a male relative of mine became concerned about how often I danced.

I wasn't like a Fifties dad.

If my own current husband was suddenly a stay-at-home dad, it would be emasculating. That would be hard for me.

Men will bear many things from a kept mistress, which they would not bear from a wife.

Women—one half the human race at least—care fifty times more for a marriage than for a ministry.

I was such a Jewish princess. My whole life was leading up to marrying a rich man and living on 48th Street.

I can pinpoint the exact moment when I first began to think about what profession I should go into. It was 1978. I was seven and had just been handed over by the women of my family to the earnest and self-important gatherings of the men. I was no longer the responsibility of my aunts and older female cousins. I was now a man. This was a tragedy.

People might be surprised because I settled for an arranged marriage, but that's what's chosen for us.

My dad is this typical orthodox, narrow-minded Punjabi man in front of whom you can't even utter the word called 'boyfriend.'

Once, at Thanksgiving, a neighbor wandered in while my cousin Lisa worked on a turkey, shearing meat off its frame and sliding the steaming slices onto a big flowered plate. 'Hey, that's the man's job,' she yelped, in between slurps of her Big Gulp. No one even paused to acknowledge the comment; everyone just laughed and laughed.

In marriage, a woman becomes the weaker sex, even if her husband doesn't want her to be. This happens because of the way society has built the institution.

I think, especially growing up in the South, we are taught that women are supposed to be soft, gentle and kind of just goes along with everything and is submissive.

Where I come from, they don't think much of men who are bossed about by their wives.

We also ought to recognize that unpaid labor falls predominantly to women. The other thing I would do in countries like the U.S. is to show more men, even in TV ads, doing household work. Only two percent of ads show men doing chores, and yet we know they actually do several hours of it in real life. Those images affect young boys and girls.

Jon shrugged. 'Girls get the arms but not the swords. Bastards get the swords but not the arms. I did not make the rules, little sister.

It appears that ordinary men take wives because possession is not possible without marriage, and that ordinary women accept husbands because marriage is not possible without possession