The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
When I'm on the set at 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,' of course the content isn't funny, but the other actors are hilarious.
I like to think I'm like the guy who goes to the office Christmas party Friday night, insults some people, but still has his job Monday morning.
It was not easy to get to where I am. My challenge is to learn to deal with the jokes that are common among men that I heard and continue to hear sometimes among men.
I'm working on the Star Wars script today and the people in my office have covered up all my windows with black paper. I guess they wanted to make sure no one could see what I was doing. It seems rather extreme.
I have worked out I can quite happily jog the distance to work as long as I hail a cab first and leave my high heels on the back seat.
I can't wait until I get to play the fat guy in the office.
I stand by 'I'm not going to do 'The Office' again.' That would be weird: all the same people sitting at the same desks at a paper merchant's in Slough.
If you don't know what to do with many of the papers piled on your desk, stick a dozen colleagues initials on them and pass them along. When in doubt, route.
I remember exiting the birth canal and suddenly I was in a film. But you are never really in charge of that. The movie came out about five or six months ago in America. It was Miramax in the States and Disney here [fakes falling asleep]. What happened. I love working for Disney, not Walt specifically because he couldn't be more dead, but the company is fantastic.
I know I never work in whatever gets called an office, e.g., a school office I use only for meeting students and storing books I know I'm not going to read anytime soon.
On this team, we're all united in a common goal: to keep my job.
There are many ways to deal with annoying coworkers, but obviously the most effective way is to picture them as rappers. Picturing your coworkers as rappers makes you laugh and provides a helpful nickname that can be used when talking about them behind their backs.
I do a job I really, really love and I kind of have fun with. People think you can't be grown up unless you're moaning about your job.
On the set I make jokes I can't get too involved, or it turns into sentimental soup. I try to keep it light.
I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
My whole staff love to laugh and count the money. On the couch, hands in our pants like Al Bundy.
I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place where people stand outside, they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed in the atmosphere, and they say, man, you're looking pretty.
If your boss gets drunk and offers to photocopy her posterior, do not helpfully suggest pressing reduce 75%.
I mean Ally McBeal was sort of the closest thing I can think of to kind of being a comedy-drama but that had its own kind of style that meant it got kind of big sometimes. But it was a great show.
I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.
There's nothing cooler than going to work and hanging around with your friends and laughing, because it's something that you get told off for throughout your entire time at school... it's just like a big 'in your face' to those bully teachers that you had when you were a kid.
A mule will labor ten years willingly and patiently for you, for the privilege of kicking you once.
Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap.
