Vacuum Cleaner Quotes

The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox.

Actually, New York is great for playing around. I made a lot of studies for New York-a big vacuum cleaner lying on the Battery in Manhattan.

Worry is to joy what a Hoover vacuum cleaner is to dirt: might as well attach your heart to a happiness-sucker and flip the switch.

I love a Dustbuster. You go around, pick up little crumbs, and everything is nice again.

Do you know what I like about your program? Even when I'm running the vacuum, I can understand it.

A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with.

You're not going to talk to your vacuum cleaning robot: in fact, you may never see your vacuum cleaning robot because, ideally, you come home every day and your floors are freshly vacuumed.

Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.

My worst Christmas ever was in 1987 when Santa brought me and my sister a dose of chicken-pox. And my worst present ever was a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner! I don't like to sound ungrateful, but I do find vacuuming difficult to get excited about.

Father's snoring grows to sound increasingly like a vacuum cleaner in heat.

Did Google need to make robot cars in order to make Streetview work? Absolutely not. It's the equivalent of saying you need a walking robot in order to push an upright vacuum cleaner. It's gratuitous robotics!

When you take a shower in space, you have to press the water onto your body to clean yourself, and then you gotta vacuum it off.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

What is a bore? Maxwell definition: a vacuum cleaner of society, sucking up everything and giving nothing. How do you spot one? Bores are always anxious to be seen talking to you.

Screaming. Did I mention the screaming? Screaming is usually associated with horror films and roller coasters. This is why I usually look like I've just watched a horror film on a rollercoaster. Kids love to scream. Frightened, happy, bored. They scream. I've actually learned to love the sound of a vacuum cleaner. It's just so peaceful.

I played didgeridoo from a young age - on the vacuum cleaner, initially.

I was living in a small town in Indiana working as a telemarketer and a vacuum salesman. I was really bad: the vacuums seemed to always be falling apart. Every time I did a demonstration, I'd say, 'This is the material the astronauts used on Apollo 13.' And no sooner had that come out of my mouth, something would malfunction.

The first time I heard 'Sharknado,' I thought it was a late-night infomercial for a new vacuum cleaner. Could have swore I ordered one once. Then I found out what it was and remembered that I grew up reading the 'Sharknado' novels.

A bore is a vacuum cleaner of society, sucking up everything and giving nothing. Bores are always eager to be seen talking to you.

Marriage is like a vacuum cleaner. You stick it to your ear and it sucks out all your energy and ambition.