I flinch when I see my name in the newspapers.
The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train.
I remember, my very first day at a new school, a bird pooped all down my back. It was like any other day of school except everyone was like, 'Oh my God, you're from the movie 'Big Daddy,'' and I had bird poop all over me.
The photographers are always around. Wherever I go, they start clicking incessantly. I am always like, 'At least give me a heads-up, as, many times, I look so disheveled. What will people think?'
Initially, it was sort of devastating to lose full animation and go limited.
The pin-up thing took us completely by surprise. I found it hard because I got singled out, and I didn't like it. There was a lot of disillusionment.
My show 'The Big House' was picked up; they flew me to New York. I'm about to step on stage to announce Kevin Hart's 'The Big House.' And a hand grabs my shoulder, 'Kevin no, they just decided to cancel it.' It's a serious smack-in-the-face business, and either you can take it, or you can't.
I see you brought along your violent little girlfriend. What a nice surprise!" - Saint Dane (The Reality Bug)
I can't stand it when groups come back for an encore, and they play some slow thing. Oh, brother! It's like, 'Had I known that, I would've left.'
One of the worst days of my life was telling Dick Ebersol I was going to TNT.
Michael!” Oliver’s voice came faint through the front door. “Something you should see, my boy! Look out your windows!” “Trap,” Shane said instantly, and reached out to grab Michael’s arm as he walked by. “Don’t, man.” “What’s he going to do? Make faces at me?
Unsolicited surprise requests from strangers are essentially guaranteed to be met with a negative response.
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
An inconvenience is an adventure wrongly considered.
There are some women whose pregnancy would make some sly bachelor smile.
Bad news isn't wine. It doesn't improve with age.
One time, a fan jumped on the back of our vehicle, and without noticing, we drove away. I was pretty frightened, actually.
Last time I blushed was when I smoothed my hands over the back of my dress and actually touched skin. Seems the material was tucked into my underwear, and everyone around me had gotten a show. This, of course, was at a romance writers' conference.
Mondays are the potholes in the road of life.
I was devastated when I had to go blonde.
I was just standing around and suddenly I was cast as an extra. I hated it because I was so shy.
Going to 125, I don't even want to talk about it. I tried it for two days and after that, I can't.
You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear.
The owner of one club once interrupted my set to inform me that my taxi had arrived. I don't think he meant it to sound as cutting as it did.
I aimed at the public's heart, and by accident I hit it in the stomach.
