Tabloid News Quotes

You'd have thought they'd have been on about Sir Elton John, and the fantastic goals David has scored which have got us through to the World Cup. But what they were really interested in was that I was holding a bag that had 'Sex' written on it. It's quite bizarre.

I'm not on Page Six, because I don't have anything salacious happening in my life... unfortunately.

Poem (Lana Turner has collapsed!) Lana Turner has collapsed! I was trotting along and suddenly it started raining and snowing and you said it was hailing but hailing hits you on the head hard so it was really snowing and raining and I was in such a hurry to meet you but the traffic was acting exactly like the sky and suddenly I see a headline LANA TURNER HAS COLLAPSED! there is no snow in Hollywood there is no rain in California I have been to lots of parties and acted perfectly disgraceful but I never actually collapsed oh Lana Turner we love you get up

We know more about Tom [Cruise] and Katie [Holmes] than we do about global warming. We're the most entertained, least informed people in the world.

Every time you open the paper now, there seems to be another celebrity getting arrest for masturbation. First, it was Peewee Herman and then George Michael. If masturbation's a crime, I should be on death row.

Agents told me that in the celebrity world, it's love life and weight gain/loss that people are interested in.

No tabloid will ever print the startling news that the mummified body of Jesus of Nazareth has been discovered in old Jerusalem. Christians have no carefully embalmed body enclosed in a glass case to worship. Thank God, we have an empty tomb. The glorious fact that the empty tomb proclaims to us is that life for us does not stop when death comes. Death is not a wall, but a door.

I am friends with Demi. Don't believe anything you read.

We're in a celebrity culture, and when I turn on the news today I hear about Lindsay Lohan, Tiger Woods and Paris Hilton and the Kardashian sisters and 'Dancing with the Stars,' one thing after another, Kate Gosselin's new body.

Rumors about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That's who I'm dating.

I work in show business - there's nothing that shocks me anymore!

The media is all over this Oui interview that Arnold did 25 years ago. Now, he's admitted he smoked pot, had group sex and didn't mind dating a girl that was out of shape and kind of fat if she satisfied him sexually. So, his handlers have stopped comparing him to Reagan and started comparing him to Clinton.

[CNN, USA Today] they've got 24 hours to fill. You know, how many times can Anna Nicole Smith's baby get a new father?

It's like tabloid news programs that talk about how horrible something is, while at the same time they're glorifying it as their top story.

I could find David Beckham naked in a cardboard box on my doorstep and I would drop him off at the pound.

There's a lust in man, no charm can tame, of loudly publishing our neighbor's shame.

I'll turn on the TV or look at a magazine, and it's like, 'Who is this person?' And you find out they are from '16 and Pregnant,' and I'm like, 'Really? They're celebrities now?' You read about them on the news having fights and breakups, and I think, 'Well, of course.'

I taught my son to read with tabloids. We would sit to read the 'Weekly World News' together.

I don't like the celebrity gossip culture, and I certainly don't want to contribute to it. I don't care about the Kardashians, or any of them.

For much of the final decade of the 20th century, one story regularly dominated the news across much of the developed world. It was the unravelling of the marriage between the heir to the British throne and his beautiful, charismatic princess, Diana.

I remember one time I went to a party and I had to interview Reese Witherspoon. She was just in this movie "Freeway," it's like 1996. To prepare for the interview I went to meet her at this release party, and I end up getting in this fist fight with a guy. I'm not much of a fighter but I get in this fight and the press was all there and they saw me, and all of a sudden the next day in the paper was 'Simon Rex and his posse get in scuffle, and Simon crashes a bottle over a guy's head after smoking crack in the bathroom.' I saved the article forever.

Gossip is more popular than literature.

What I hate about Halle Berry is there's always drama around her. It's always fighting, automobile accidents, fistfights, boyfriends fighting ex-husbands for the child.

E.T.' and 'Extra,' they are too salacious. They go, Oooh, Katie Couric just broke up with X. 'Access Hollywood' is really good entertainment news. It's not dirty, and we don't get cheap.

People say the media is feeding the public's hunger for celebrity news, but that's the drug pusher's mentality. I don't think anybody would be pining for news about Angelina Jolie's babies if it weren't being given to them in the first place.