Security Screening Quotes

When I travel abroad, because I'm Columbian, I'm always one that they check twice and security and I'm the one that they open my bag and the one they pull to the side to check the visa.

In June 2002, airport security searched Al Gore. There's a lot not to like about Gore, but he's not a terrorist. Gore said he was glad he was searched. Why? To spare a terrorist the trouble? This is a serious national issue; why must liberals lie? Searching Al Gore is purely a religious act. It is the purposeless fetishistic performance of ritual in accordance with the civic religion of liberalism.

Over the past 50 years we got versions of X-ray specs and space vacations, and even death rays. But the X-ray specs don't fit on your face - they're big things that screen your luggage for guns. Space vacations are real, but they cost $20 million. We have death rays, but you have to be a triple Ph.D. to play with them.

The bottom line is how do we best provide for the security of the traveling public in light of a determined enemy who is adept at constructing well-designed, well-concealed devices which would not show up in a walk-through metal detector? We're trying to employ the best technology to identify any possible threat.

I travel with a boom box. When I get on a plane, I stuff the power cord for the boom box into the battery compartment. From an outsider's point of view, it looks like I've got it all wrong.

President Obama has argued there isn't a threat of terrorism from the U.S. refugee program because for individuals who apply it takes two years, 'heavy vetting' and is a relatively long process. It doesn't matter. Jihad is patient, and as ISIS has pledged, it will do whatever it takes to get the job done.

Actually, [Wax] said, we came here because we needed someplace safe to think for a few hours." Ranette: "Your mansion isn't safe?" Wax: "My butler failed to poison me, then tried to shoot me, then set off an explosive in my study" Ranette: "Huh.... You need to screen these people better, Wax.

It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.

It's a shame that people are resisting vetting programs that would actually just keep out those who want to do us harm.

We have first lady Michelle Obama on the show tonight. As you'd expect, security's been pretty tight. On my way in I got five pat-downs, and that was just from Joe Biden.

I know every time I fly, I get checked twice: they stop me at security, and then, they get me again at the gate. And last time, it was so bad, they actually made me go through the machine with the luggage.

When to arrive at the airport?: You should be at the airport already.

It's not an Israeli model, it's a TSA, screwed-up model. It should actually be the person who's looking at the ticket and talking to the individual. Instead, they've hired people to stand around and observe, which is a bastardization of what should be done.

We want to be sensitive to people's concerns about privacy about their personal being and things, while ensuring that everybody on every flight has been properly screened.

A paperwork error can get you on the fly list. A name similar to someone else can get you on the fly list, so there's any number of opportunities where mistakes or abuses could probably put somebody in that horrible position of a government agency really clawing back your rights.

Oh my God, Kennedy Airport - what a mess - all over you with those dopey security questions. 'Did you receive any gifts from any unknown persons?' Buddy, the last thing I got from an unknown person was in the 80's.

It is only the unexpected that ever makes a customs officer think.

I flew this past weekend. I went through airport security and said to the guy, 'Is everything okay?' He said, 'You might want to have that mole on your ass checked out.' That seems a little personal to me.

Hillary and I will do immigration enforcement and we'll vet refugees based on whether they're dangerous or not. We won't do it based on discriminating against you from the country you come from or the religion that you practice.

At the airport if you refuse to be patted down, they arrest you. And what's the first thing they do when they arrest you? They pat you down.

I am really high maintenance and won't walk through the microwave that fries your body. I always request a pat down [in airport].

I'm willing to go through a full body scan or anything else you need to. What I am offended by is the absolute unwillingness of Obama's administration. Callista and I did a movie called "America at Risk: The War with No Name," where we outlined - who are the people who've been terrorists in the last three or four years? They're all males. They're all young. They're all fairly identifiable in other ways. So we're going to a point - we're going to have a full body scan of an 83-year-old nun from Des Moines because we don't want to be honest about who our enemies are?

Well, you know, I think the American people are sacrificing now. I think they're waiting in airport lines longer than they've ever had before.

I only travel with one suitcase - Mulberry does an incredible one. I always check it; the TSA restrictions are so tricky.

You seem to be clean," Terminus decided. "Do you have anything to declare?" "Yes," Percy said. "I declare this is stupid.