The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart - almost as good and a lot cheaper!
When I was a kid, man, my dad used to buy me the Ted Williams glove at Sears with the Ted Williams shoes with the eight stripes on 'em. I used to play Little League, and I was Ted Williams-ed out.
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Sometimes I claim I write because I put in an application at Sears and they've never called back.
Men aren't men until they can get to Sears by themselves.
My dad's idea of a good time is to go to Sears and walk around.
Just the other day, my assistant was on the line with Calvin Klein. Golly, I usually shop at Sears.
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
It was no mystery why Richard Loeb and Nathan Leopold had singled me out as a prime prospect for their heinous crime. My grandfather, Julius Rosenwald, was the chairman of the board of Sears, Roebuck and Co. His prominence made me an ideal choice.
I worked at Sears in the Woodfield Mall as a gift wrapper. I'm actually a great gift wrapper, and the customers were so nice to me. I was only 16, and eventually Sears put me in customer service because I was so friendly.
We didn't have much money when I was younger, so I had to collect Coke bottles and cash them in and get a paper route to afford a guitar. That guitar from Sears came with a case and an amp and everything all in one. It was really cool.
