Marital Joke Quotes

Journalist: 'Have you received any death threats?' Harry Redknapp: 'Only from the wife when I didn't do the washing up!'.

My wife tells me one day, 'I think you love baseball more than me.' I say, 'Well, I guess that's true, but hey, I love you more than football and hockey.'

My husband was just OK looking. I was in labor and I said to him, 'What if she's ugly? You're ugly.'

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

So, I'm lying on the couch and Laura walks in and I say, 'Free at last,' and she says 'You're free all right, you're free to do the dishes.' So I say, 'You're talking to the former president, baby,' and she said, 'consider this your new domestic policy agenda.'

My wife has a black belt in shopping.

My wife Steph never tells me to take on less work - she's just glad to have me out of the house!

My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.

I'm 5 feet 3, but I was 6 feet 4 when I married Ava.

My wife has great taste in everything but men. The vast majority of the songs on my debut album, 'Traveller,' came from lists she made.