Mail Handling Quotes

I get a lot of fan mail addressed to Bilbo and sometimes Sir Bilbo - it's hardly ever addressed to Ian Holm, in fact. My business manager drafts the replies, and then I pop in to the office and sign them, 'Bilbo!'

One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.

As far as investors and customers are concerned, I make it a point to answer each and every piece of mail that comes to me.

We now open our mail with gloves and mask, though I can't imagine why anyone would target a literary agency!

I don't read bad mail. I don't save mail. I'm too old to read negative things.

Every week we ought to have one hour for recieving letters, then go take a bath.

At present I answer about 100 letters a month, and read 300 emails.

Merv Griffin, who developed Jeopardy! and Wheel of Fortune, had a great line once. I used to personally answer all the mail that came in to Jeopardy! whether it was favorable or unfavorable, and Merv said, You know how I handle the nasty mail? I said no. He just grabbed it and folded it up and crunched it up and threw it in the wastebasket. He said, I don't bother with it.

I believe in opening mail once a month, whether it needs it or not.

I never looked at fan mail, for some reason. My mother and grandmother handled my mail - although it's not like I was ever in the stratosphere of Kirk Cameron or Scott Baio.

Mail is processed. It arrives at Paramount Studios! It's sorted, and a pile is brought to the production offices for each of the TV shows shot there. That mail is sorted so that each actor gets his letters. A pile is placed in his dressing room.

I spend almost every morning with mail.

Fifteen cents of every twenty-cent stamp goes for storage.

I receive underwear - some clean, some not. No joke. My assistant who helps me with my fan mail constantly threatens to quit because of what we get sent.

I did everything. I worked at S.S. Kresge, the five-and-dime. I worked in a mailroom. I worked processing insurance claims.

I pulled out the manuscript [from the envelope] and a great big stiff cardboard finger sprung up. This is someone that was so certain they would be rejected, they would be getting their revenge in advance. I was lucky - it could have been a pipe bomb.

I know when the anthrax thing hit - white people, y'all was very nervous. Y'all would come up to me at work and warn me, like 'Oh my God, Aries, be careful. Don't open your mail.' Let me tell you something - black folks was never worried about anthrax because, half the time, we don't open our mail no way. We might think that's a bill. We might hold it to the light and go, 'That's a red slip.' If you want to get us with anthrax, put that in a Jay-Z CD. That's how you get us.