linguistic humor Quotes

My puns are not trivial. They are quadrivial

Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.

I'm bi-lots of things but lingual isn't one of them. Wait, did I mean to say that?

If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.

A pun, though despicable in itself, can be the noblest vehicle of an artistic intention by serving as the abbreviation of a wittyview. It can be a social criticism in the form of an epigram.

Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it.

In the pun, two strings of thought are tangled into one acoustic knot.

Unless we're talking about old-school, witchcraft-trial violence, can we please phase out the phrase 'girl crush?' While we're at it, if we can axe 'like, total girl crush' unless Total Girl Crush is the name of a fizzy soft drink, in which case I'll take two, thank you.

I get the Reese's candy bar. You look at that, there's an apostrophe-s there. That means the candy bar is his. I didn't know that. Next time you're eating a Reese's candy bar, and a guy named Reese comes by and says, "Gimme that", you better hand it over.

I noticed that there are no B batteries. I think that's to avoid confusion, cause if there were you wouldn't know if someone was stuttering. 'Yes, hello I'd like some b-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries.' 'What kind?' 'B-batteries!' and D-batteries that's hard for foreigners. 'Yes, I would like de batteries.'

George: 'Ringo would always say grammmatically incorrect phrases and we'd all laugh. I remember when we were driving back to Liverpool from Luton up the M1 motorway in Ringo's Zephyr, and the car's bonnet hadn't been latched properly. The wind got under it and blew it up in front of the windscreen. We were all shouting, 'Aaaargh!' and Ringo calmly said, 'Don't worry, I'll soon have you back in your safely-beds.

A pun calls the meaning of a word into question, and it upsets us tremendously. We laugh because suddenly we find out we're not going to get killed. I think a lot of things work that way with photographs.

Did-a-chick? Dum-a-chum? Dad-a-cham? Ded-a-chek?

If drumsticks are for playing drums, you would think that breadsticks would be for playing bread, wouldn't you? "Would you like some breadsticks?" "No, thank you, I don't play bread. I play drums. Perhaps I'll have a drum roll."

I think 'lunch' is one of the funniest words in the world.

Dutch is not so much a language as an ailment of the throat.

I say 'as it were' or 'so to speak' too often because puns and double entendres keep insinuating themselves into my consciousness as I'm talking.

me, pro. The objectionable case of I. The personal pronoun in English has three cases, the dominative, the objectionable and the oppressive. Each is all three.

Just as the witticism brings two very different real objects under one concept, the pun brings two different concepts, by the assistance of accident, under one word.

My family was always playing with words. It is little wonder that even after I got serious about writing, I've had a hard time getting serious about words.

I admit I feel funny when I use the word 'whom' as I'm talking to my diapered children, but I persist.

How every fool can play upon the word!

There is no kind of false wit which has been so recommended by the practice of all ages, as that which consists in a jingle of words, and is comprehended under the general name of punning.

If countries were named after the words you first hear when you go there, England would have to be called Damn It.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.