Household Item Quotes

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

In mine, they were just trying to steal a briefcase of cocaine.* That's it. Some flour that I got out of my mom's cupboard.

That's the best gowne that goes up and downe the house.

I'm a big fan of teatowels and am always on the lookout for a good one.

The last time I used? What do you mean? I used my toaster this morning.

Mango is always a staple in my household.

Teddy said it was a hat, So I put it on. Now dad is saying, "where the heck's the toilet plunger gone?

Outside of the chair, the teapot is the most ubiquitous and important design element in the domestic environment and almost everyone who has tackled the world of design has ended up designing one.

FRYING-PAN, n. One part of the penal apparatus employed in that punitive institution, a woman's kitchen. The frying-pan was invented by Calvin, and by him used in cooking span-long infants that had died without baptism; and observing one day the horrible torment of a tramp who had incautiously pulled a fried babe from the waste-dump and devoured it, it occurred to the great divine to rob death of its terrors by introducing the frying-pan into every household in Geneva. Thence it spread to all corners of the world, and has been of invaluable assistance in the propagation of his sombre faith.

Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

the cracked plate has to be retained in the pantry, has to be kept in service as a household necessity. It can never be warmed on the stove nor shuffled with the other plates in the dishpan; it will not be brought out for company but it will do to hold crackers late at night or to go into the ice-box with the left overs.

An animated feather duster.

The broom wasn't as comforting as a flamethrower would have been, but it was better than a mop and certainly more threatening than a feather duster.

You know, you really can't beat a household commodity - the ketchup bottle on the kitchen table.