Household Chaos Quotes

My parents told me they were going to kill me at least a thousand times growing up. "I'm gonna kill you," and then they'd whack me on the side of the head or whatever. And "What's wrong with you?" And "I'm gonna lock you up," and "I'm gonna throw you out the window," and "I'm gonna kill you." You know, all these things that you say in the heat of a normal chaotic household.

I hate women because they always know where things are.

I am the fourth of five children, and I can't remember a time with no babies in the house.

A god implants in mortal guilt whenever he wants utterly to confound a house.

You can't have a pristine house with ten dogs, and I'd rather have the ten dogs.

Having five children in six years is the best training in the world for Speaker of the House.

I'm mostly retired. Now I'm a mother with a really noisy, difficult house to maintain!

We have scarcely gotten home ... when our children's sneezes greet us, skinned knees bleed after waiting all day to do so. There is the bellyache and the burned-out basement bulb, the stalled car and the incontinent cat. The windows frost, the toilets sweat, the body of our spouse is one cold shoulder and the darkness of our bedroom is soon full of the fallen shadows of our failures.

I vividly remember throwing a bowl of porridge at my husband Rayne once when he defended the children instead of me - the patch on the ceiling stayed for years.

The house was big enough for my brother and me to have firecracker wars at one end and leave Mom and Dad undisturbed at the other. When firecrackers weren't available, we attacked each other with pennies and marbles and clumps of Crisco, which made brilliant greasy asterisks when you missed and hit the wall.

In our house, there was a lot of yelling. It was everyone walking in on each other and very few boundaries.

My problem is I live with only women - be it my mother, wife, daughters, cook, and nurse - who are all drama queens, ranging from the age of 8 to 75, all wanting a slice of me. But it's mind-blowing to have these women in my life.

How can you be a recluse in a house full of children, even if you had the inclination to be, which I don't?

I'm kind of domestic, untidily so.

I know what it's like to finish the laundry and to look in the basket five minutes later and it's full again. I know what it's like to pull all the groceries in, and see the teenagers run through, and all of a sudden, all of the groceries you just bought a few hours ago are gone.

Like my mum, I sometimes buy things I shouldn't and fill my house with rubbish.

My household is, in a nice way, very busy.

If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

I've got nine kids, nine dogs, three grandkids - and one in the oven. And three parrots!

I hope my daughter knows that in our house we can make messes and have fun and we'll laugh through it. Granted I don't want her to trash the house, but we do make a lot of messes.

I live with three boys, and I can't tell you how hard it is to get your hands on toilet paper. They steal it.

If you want any attention in the Howard household, you have to shout quite loudly and try to develop a personality.

Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.

Because I spend so much time traveling, I tend to do most of my reading on the same iPad on which I write. For me, it's words, not paper, that matter most in the end. This practice has had the additional benefit of greatly reducing the time I spend storming through the house, defaming the mysterious forces who 'hid my book.'