Disability Humor Quotes

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

I typically start out almost every speech I give making some kind of joke about me being in a wheelchair.

Want me to Stevie Wonder my way to the bathroom?

Ham smiled. "Cett's going to be furious." Elend shrugged. "He's a paraplegic. What's he going to do? Bite us?

When one woman found out I had multiple sclerosis, she said to me, 'My heart bleeds for you.' I said to her, 'Well, my heart bleeds for you, because you're an idiot.'

[Asked if she campaigned:] No indeed ... I just go along ... and sit on the platform to show that I don't have a club foot.

A deranged person is supposed to have the strength of ten men. I have the strength of one small boy... with polio.

I was always kind of finding humor to be an access point to the conversation, to a pain relief, if you will. My mother was in a wheelchair since I was very young, so she was in pain and we used humor.

We should do another 10 Bad Boys movies. I could come in in one of those electric wheelchairs, like Peter Sellers in Dr Strangelove, just shouting away.

My personal opinion is that I don't ever do jokes that are about disability or cancer or what are seen as 'edgier' topics. I've been affected by those things myself, and I think that comedy should be a safe place for people.

People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people, but it's not. You really have to explain it to them.

Ricky Gervais has jokes about people with disabilities, but do I think that's a healthy thing? Yes, I really do, because he's chosen his targets very carefully, and he's thought about what he's doing.

The average American's day planner has fewer holes in it than Ray Charles's dart board.