A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
As for his name, well, what attorney wouldn't want to be able put a Judge in a crate every now and then?
A Seattle lawyer once interrupted his lengthy cross-examination of a witness and exclaimed, "Your Honor, one of the jurors is asleep." "You put him to sleep," replied the judge. "Suppose you wake him up."
John [Mulaney] likes to say I'm like a district attorney with absolutely no jurisdiction whatsoever.
A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
There was an interesting development in the CBS-Westmoreland trial: both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him during the trial.
