The best way to execute French cooking is to get good and loaded and whack the hell out of a chicken.
Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn't have to wash up!
There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.
The only really good vegetable is Tabasco sauce. Put Tabasco sauce in everything. Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin. The next best vegetable is the jalapeno pepper. It has the virtue of turning salads into practical jokes.
Classic Recipe for Roast Beef: 1 large Roast of beef 1 small Roast of beef Take the two roasts and put them in the oven. When the little one burns, the big one is done.
I'm fantastic at cooking up stories. In the kitchen, I can, at best, make tea and a badly shaped dosa.
I have a good collection of cookery books. This is not so much because I like cooking, but because I like eating.
This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.
