I think honestly, some people who think they're gay, they're confused.
People came up: 'I thought you were 6 ft tall.' I'm average height - 5 ft 8 ins, skinny blonde. One guy says to me 'So, where's the fox from Mystic Pizza?
I'm not even sure who my audience is.
Im straight... But my girl a faggot... Potato on the barrel... Potato salad
For a straight man, I seem to have to kiss an awful lot of men!
People aren't either wicked or noble. They're like chef's salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.
I always thought Grover Cleveland was from Cleveland.
There was a knock on our dressing-room door. Our manager shouted, 'Keith! Ron! The Police are here!' Oh, man, we panicked, flushed everything down the john. Then the door opened and it was Stewart Copeland and Sting.
I think my full name is 'Ain't you the girl LeToya who used to be in Destiny's Child?' My nickname is 'Girl from Destiny's Child.'
You've got your mother in a whirl, she's not sure if your a boy or a girl.
Teddy said it was a hat, So I put it on. Now dad is saying, "where the heck's the toilet plunger gone?
I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced.
How was I supposed to know what's real and what's not? It feels like I'm the only one who doesn't know the difference.
My first record had just broken, and these guys wanted my autograph. I thought, Oh, god, they recognize me. Turns out they thought I was Heidi Fleiss.
I look at my hands and go, 'Hmm...what happened? Whose hands are those? Oh my God, they're mine'
I am not a cop. Really. I've just been playing one on television so long that people get a little confused sometimes.
A thing that makes me laugh is, any time I go to the legitimate doctor, they call me Dr. Halstead.
How does Usain Bolt know you? You're just my soccer coach.
The Hoff has taken over David Hasselhoff. David Hasselhoff really doesn't know who he is anymore. Everywhere I go, it's The Hoff.
Guido Natso is natso guido.
People think I'm Rob Brydon a lot.
There are a lot of times where people think I'm in things that I'm not in, because they think I'm Kumail Nanjiani.
My own son called me Eddie Murphy's brother once. Once.
When I was 16, walking down Oxford Street, I saw Ian Brown. I said, 'Are you Ian Brown?' He said no and walked off, but I am sure it was him.
What was life asking of me? How could I respond when I didn't know the question?
