Childproofing Quotes

Babies aren't dishwasher-safe.

I was a mother who worked ridiculously hard to keep catastrophe at bay. I didn't allow my kids to eat hamburgers for fear of E. coli. I didn't allow them to play with rope, string, balloons - anything that might strangle them. They had to bite grapes in half, avoid lollipops, eat only when I could watch them.

Babies in silk hats playing with dynamite.

For toddlers I suggest leaving their mittens on year-round, indoors and out. That way they can't get into aspirin bottles, liquor cabinets, or boxes of kitchen matches.

Being a parent is weird. It changes people in subtle and unsubtle ways. In my case, it awoke a kind of manic sentinel in my brain. Anything in the house that might be a threat to the kids or to my wife gets terminated - food, sharp edges, poor wiring.

Living with kids is like living with a bunch of drunks. You know you really have to be on your toes all the time. Things are falling over and breaking and spilling. If you live on the second story, you really have to keep the windows shut all the time.

I hate it when I go out and I see parents going, 'don't do that', or 'stop doing that' when some kid's just hanging off a staircase or something. There's too much of this, 'don't do that'. The whole thing baffles me.

Every place in the country you should get a license that shows you know how to safely store it, keep it away from your children or grandchildren. You should have to license it so the police can trace it if it's used in a crime.

I'm neurotic about children. I see dangers everywhere - sharp corners, stairs.

You might think that's an exaggeration but believe me, if you leave twin two-year-olds alone in your living room, at some point a cow will be airborne.

Mothers will be fishing kids out of obscure cubby-holes for years!

Kids' brains are developing. Their heads are a larger part of their body, and their necks are not as strong as adults' necks. So kids may be at a greater risk of head and brain injuries than adults.

We protect aspirin bottles in this country better than we protect guns from accidents by children.

A two-and-a-half-year-old is pretty experienced at making a mess, anyway.

Usually people are very much focused on keeping their kids alive.

As a father, safety is always a top of mind issue for me.

My office is just off my master bedroom. One of my theories is I needed to double-door it with three kids at home.

Babies are equipped at birth with a number of instinctive reflexes and behavior patterns that cause them to spend their first several years trying to kill themselves. If your home contains a sharp, toxic object, your baby will locate it; if your home contains no such object, your baby will try to obtain one via mail order.

I can't just lie in bed and be self-obsessed if there are two children running about who could easily fall down the stairs.

The one time I'd ever babysat, the kid ran into a glass door and got a concussion.

The mother- poor invaded soul- finds even the bathroom door no bar to hammering little hands.

Unfortunately, dozens of toddlers injure themselves, even kill people with guns, because, unfortunately, not everyone who has loaded guns in their homes takes appropriate precautions.

People should not be in a position where their children have access to weapons and ammunition.

We have bills that make it impossible for children to get into an aspirin bottle. Do my colleagues not think that we should do the same thing with a gun.

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.