Automobile Repair Quotes

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, "There is water in the carburetor." I said, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."

A doctor is not a mechanic. A car doesn't react with a mechanic, but a human being does.

And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself.

DIY, cricket, automobile repair. I could study it for a lifetime and not produce a word on the carburettor.

By the time I was done with the car it looked worse than any typical Indian car that has been driven all its life on reservation roads, which they always say are like government promises - full of holes.

My car is so bad, I hit poles I'm not kidding I hit things all the times, I hit bushes it's really bad.

I have this magpie instinct for the next glittering object. There are one or two things I know I can't write about, though: DIY, cricket, automobile repair. I could study it for a lifetime and not produce a word on the carburettor.

I paused for a light at Hamilton and TWlfth and noticed the Nissan was running rough at idle. Two blocks later it backfired and stalled. I coaxed it into the center of the city. Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! Ffft, ffft, ffft, KAPOW! A Trans Am pulled up next to me at a light. The Trans Am was filled with high school kids. One of them stuck his head out of the passenger-side window. "Hey lady," he said. "Sounds like you got a fartmobile." I flipped him an Italian goodwill gesture and pulled the ball cap low on my forehead. (Three to get Deadly)

I'm no mechanic but I can change my oil and I know what to do when I get a flat tire and I can hot-wire it in an emergency.