John Mulaney Quotes

Sheep are never going to talk to you about cricket.

The animal has secrets which, unlike the secrets of caves, mountains, seas are specifically addressed to man.

Often people who are wonderful with animals aren't always terribly good with human beings.

Some dogs act like people and some people act like dogs.

Whenever you observe an animal closely, you feel as if a human being sitting inside were making fun of you.

human animals and nonhuman animals can communicate quite well; if we are brought up around animals as children we take this for granted. By the time we are adults we no longer remember.

I am always incorrigibly interested in the behaviour of the 'human animal', and look forward to perusing divers effusions of your lively pen.

When I'm around animals, I don't pay attention to people.

Animals have always left me with a curiosity about human nature. I trust animals more than most people.

I don't need to kill goats to say things. I CAN talk.

I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contain'd, I stand and look at them long and long.

Animals don't know as much about jealousy as people, but they're not ignorant of it, either.

I find it valid to understand man as an animal before I am prepared to know him as a man.

Who can . . . guess how much industry and providence and affection we have caught from the pantomime of brutes?

I do ask myself sometimes, what am I doing writing about animals that talk like we do? But I guess it's okay if it brings across a point.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

The only animal from which humans have nothing to learn, in fact, is the sheep. Humans have already learned everything the sheep's got to teach.

Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.

Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.

Animals can communicate quite well. And they do. And generally speaking, they are ignored

Animals have personalities like people and must be studied.

Animals make us Human.

Humans were denied the speech of animals. The only common ground of communication upon which dogs and men can get together is in fiction.

If everything is perfect, language is useless. This is true for animals. If animals don't speak, it's because everything's perfect for them. If one day they start to speak, it will be because the world has lost a certain sort of perfection.

It is quite possible that an animal has spoken to me and that I didn't catch the remark because I wasn't paying attention.