Haruki Murakami Quotes

I never want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I used to let people walk all over me. But now, especially in my career, I'm definitely more confident in my ideas.

I tend to not speak up as much, so saying no is rather difficult for me. The biggest step of being an adult is saying, "This is what I do like. This is what I don't like." Being yourself means certain people aren't going to like that. I'm still figuring it out and taking things day by day.

I wish I had known that it's OK to stand up for myself. That it's also OK to not be liked but to be respected, and I always want to be liked.

You can't make people be or do what you want. All you can do is be unapologetic about what you want and let others show up however they can.

Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.

I should just keep me mouth shut, I just upset people.

"No" isn't really a word I understand.

You teach people how to treat you.

Why should I downplay myself to make someone else more comfortable?

I'm not the greatest communicator. I kind of internalize a lot. See, I just said I need to be quiet, but that's not the kind of communication I mean. I mean expressing myself or even standing up for myself. I can sometimes be very passive.

I see women who have this struggle between what they know is right, what they know is necessary, what they know is healthy, what they know is good for them, what they know is good for the work that they need to do, what they know is good for their bodies, what they know is good for their families - all too often ending that statement with the upturned question mark: "If it's okay with everyone?" Still asking, still requesting, still filing petitions for somebody to say that it's all right.

There's a lot of power in the word 'no,' and a lot of people, like myself, need to know that.

It may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: 'Sit down and shut up,' but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out.

I didn't want to say "No" because I didn't want people to think I'm not nice. And that, to me, has been the greatest lesson of my life: to recognize that I am solely responsible for it, and not trying to please other people, and not living my life to please other people, but doing what my heart says all the time.

I just was non-political and didn't see myself as a person who could push people around, make their decision, you know, and tell them how lousy their work was.

I tried to please people instead of believing in my own strength, until the only thing I could do was walk away.

No 'rules.' What are you, British or something? I guess I'm too nice... No wonder people take advantage of me.

I've learned to really just say no. If I don't want to do something, I won't do it. There's nothing that can make me do anything.

When we don't ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves.

I'm done living for other people. I'm done being a people pleaser. I'm done thinking about what people think about me.

In negotiating with rejected lovers or husbands, women must stop thinking they can make everyone happy. In many cases of harassment and stalking, it is clear that the woman never learned how to terminate the fantasy which requires resolution and decisiveness on their part. Wavering, dithering, or passive hysterical fear will only intensify or prolong pursuit.

I have been accused of never saying no.

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.

I need to learn to be more assertive.