Jemaine Clement Quotes

Most gay men are as sexist in their thinking as are heterosexuals. Their patriarchal thinking leads them to construct paradigms of desirable sexual behaviour that is similar to that of patriarchal straight men.

If he’s not gay and he hung out with you the whole time, he wanted to be. It’s boyfriend or want to be boyfriend or I guess gay. Those are the choices.

People think that because you might have a feeling toward another male that you don't enjoy women. I love women. I love being around them. But when we'd go out together, we'd kind of almost go out in disguise. Not in disguise, but in a baseball cap and sunglasses.

I think it's better if blokes can admit that they can have crushes on other blokes. I've probably had crushes but never really sexual crushes on men.

Our main reasons for fearing males having sex with males is that you really had to construct a more powerful social role to keep men in their place than you did to keep women in their place.

The hypocrisy and false piety of the deniers aside, the relationships of gays have no effect on heteros. Especially all the heteros who've done such a marvelous job of debasing marriage on their own all these many years.

All men are homosexual, some turn straight. It must be very odd to be a straight man because your sexuality is hopelessly defensive. It's like an ideal of racial purity.

In Mississippi, you don't admit that you're gay. It's just an awkward thing down South, which is sad.

It would be great to see somebody like Kid Rock kissing a man. But I'm sure that he wouldn't like the prospect of it put to him, and I won't even go there with Eminem.

If you don’t like gay marriage, blame the straight people. They are the ones who keep having the gay babies.

Gay men are still men.

I feel like people are so eager and willing to accept the concept of females being bisexual and having it be a very natural thing, but as soon as a male proclaims himself as bisexual, we automatically dismiss it and say, 'No, he's just gay.'

Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy.

How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?

Homosexuality was invented by a straight world dealing with its own bisexuality. But finding this difficult, and preferring not toadmit it, it invented a pariah state, a leper colony for the incorrigible whose very existence, when tolerated openly, was admonition to all. We queers keep everyone straight as whores keep matrons virtuous.

Every male secretly wants sex with Brad Pitt.

It's better to like beautiful girls than to be gay.

Actually, since I'm gay I think I should count for two guys instead of just one. I mean, in me you get the male point of view and you don't have to worry about me wanting to touch your boobies.

Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can't help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don't like that. That's the famous joke: I don't like peas, and I'm glad I don't like them, because if I liked them I would eat them and I hate them.

I've about decided if it wasn't for the sex, I could be gay. Hell, then you're just hangin' out with your buddies.

Homosexuals are delicate and bad poetry is delicate and [Allen] Ginsberg turned the tables by making homosexual poetry strong poetry, almost manly poetry; but in the long run, the homo will remain the homo and not the poet.

Homosexuality involves sexual acts most men consider not only immoral, but filthy. The reason public men rarely say aloud what most say privately is they are fearful of being branded 'bigots' by an intolerant liberal orthodoxy that holds, against all evidence and experience, that homosexuality is a normal, healthy lifestyle.

It’s better to be passionate about beautiful women than gay men.

People define gay cinema solely by content: if there are gay characters in it, it’s a gay film... Heterosexuality to me is a structure as much as it is a content. It is an imposed structure that goes along with the patriarchal, dominant structure that constrains and defines society. If homosexuality is the opposite or the counter-sexual activity to that, then what kind of a structure would it be?

Baz. "Have you ever done this before?" Simon. "Yes. No." "Yes or no?" "Yes. Not like this." Baz. "Not with a boy?" Simon. "Not when I really wanted it.