Chelsea Handler Quotes

The first time I was on Letterman, I was, like, 20 years old, and I was on a show called 'Camping with Barry White Night.'

In the States I got asked to do every TV show.

Before people figured out I was funny, I got cast quite a bit as either a rapist or serial killer or the guy who catches those people.

I did a show called 'What A Country,' with Yakov Smirnoff and Don Knotts. I used to write jokes for Yakov's stand-up act.

I've always been open to doing reality again. Just under certain circumstances.

I watched 'The Neighbors' when it first came on, and I thought it was hysterical. And every time I think something just tickles my funny bone, I call my agent and say, 'You know, I like this show. If they're ever looking for somebody, I'd like to work with them.'

I have heard I look like the guy from 'The Carbonaro Effect.'

I got a call from my manager saying, 'Howie Mandel wants to talk to you.' And I'm a comic - big fan of all he's done. He was pitching me 'Caraoke Showdown', and I was just excited about it.

I was very happy working in 'Comedy Nights' with Kapil.

I used to be on a live show with Caroline Flack, and I think I only got on that because I was a comic in Spain and ended up getting on well with her.

I'm not chasing reality shows. Viewers want to see me and producers want me on their shows.

I did a few TV shows in Germany, lots of media.

Conan O'Brien's the best. I'm glad he's in L.A. because I want to move in with him. I was a guest on that show one time to promote 'Human Giant,' and he was the coolest, funniest guy. I was really impressed. He's also eight feet tall and can shoot lightning from his fingertips.

I remember seeing Eddie Murphy RAW and seeing people laughing and having a good time and that was the same response I was getting so I thought I was on to something.

I don't want to be a TV star for the sake of being on TV. I want to have a TV show that's based around my comedy.

You do what you're supposed to do, but you have to be honest about what they're doing. When you do a comedy show on a network the problem is there are going to be a bunch of people who aren't comedians that are going to tell you what's funny.

When you take on a TV show, you give trust to people that you really just met.

I'm not a politician, I'm a comedian. I know my limitations.

People keep referring to me as a standup, and that just doesn't sit well with me because a lot of my friends are standups and they're brilliant at writing jokes, and I'm not.

I remember when I did 'Click' and I'd see Adam Sandler's fan base. He's the guy that people feel that he's their best friend, so he's walking down the street and people sort of high five him and want to tell him a joke or invite him to come home and have a sandwich with them.

Hilarious, dude. You should, like, have your own show.

I would love, obviously, just to keep doing stand-up. That's the constant. That's the thing that I'm going to do for the rest of my life, but also I would like a TV show at some point.

I was a fan of "The Daily Show" I watched it,I never imagined being on it, but I figured I would just go down there and do my best Stephen Colbert impression.

I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things.

If you're going to do a guest spot on television, they need bodies on those procedural TV shows. You've got to keep working, and that's where a lot of the work is.