Stephan Pastis Quotes

I'm a proud person. I'm not vain. I look at it like it is. If you've got the money and you're going to be out there, you owe it to people not to look like a dog if you can help it.

I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they’d boo.

The cardinal sin is not being badly dressed, but wearing the right thing in the wrong place.

Dads are awkward because they're older guys who aren't cool anymore and are figuring out who they are, and they often make bad choices in fashion and music.

People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.

Well, he was wearing those really bad pants ant that awful shirt. Clearly he did need some things explained to him bya teenager, but i didn't think it was the right time to mention his unforunate and obvious fashion impairment.

No offense, but if you want to be with my niece, you should think about getting a haircut. My mother is very conservative.” “No offense taken,” John said mildly.

Who discreetly whispers you forgot to zip up your pants? You babe, you're my bestest friend.

Interesting shade #23 Lush Golden Blonde highlights. Heyyyyyy.... The woman in the awful suit was me! The woman in the cheap shoes was me!

Recently it was pointed out to me - in a kind of hurtful way, to be honest - that people in Los Angeles are aurally challenged. That is, at social events, we simply do not listen to others. We do not ask them questions about themselves, we do not nod attentively when they speak; really, if we were to examine ourselves, we would realize that we simply have no interest in others at all.

I always check in the mirror to make sure nothing is see-through.

A woman's hair net tangled in a man's spectacles on top of the bedroom dresser.

I find it very annoying when people want to sit next to each other at a booth.

When I see guys in bars wearing the real fitted kind of Calvin Klein v-neck t-shirts I just want to go up to them and be like, 'Oh, do you work out? Your tricep looks so great - thank you.'

No matter what your sexual preference or gender, no one likes a man who is fussy about his looks. You can spend as much time as you want looking good. But don't do it in public.

I love people and want to be good to people. If I'm in restaurant and somebody doesn't treat a waitress right, I literally will leave. I will unfriend you. You are not my friend anymore.

I hope I'm better looking than Yoda, but - I'm really interested in people who have something to say, a change they want to make and can't figure out why they can't make it spread.

I did a whole concert in Atlanta with my fly open, and I had a black suit on and a white shirt. My white shirt was protruding from the fly.

Dressing well is a form of good manners.

I notice fashion on other people, I always enjoy it when people try and look their best, I've always been taught to try and look my best and that's probably my main influence, I'm not looking to influence fashion anymore than the next guy, but I do try and look my best when I'm out and representing my movies.

It's important to make a great first impression, so make sure to hold on to your damn weave.

I've always been a social network retard, even before there was a social network. People would say, "You want to go to this party and do some networking?"

From time to time, you may see a girl wearing her black opaque tights as pants. They are, in fact, not.