Douglas Adams Quotes

On My First Driving Lesson “First things first: A car has five gears. What is that smell?…Okay, first thing before that first thing: Farting in a car that’s not moving makes you an asshole.

I don't know how to drive a car.

I love driving my car on any highway.

I don't like to drive. I don't like the aggressiveness that goes along with driving.

I hate cars.

Dear motorist on the information superhighway. I'm sorry I do not have a car.

When I am driving my car down the street, I try not to go down the potholes.

It's annoying when someone's in front of you driving ten miles an hour, and you're like, 'Okay, today,' and someone else is on the side of you, so you can't pass them, and when you finally do pass them and they are texting, the laser cannons just come out and disintegrate that car.

I've never been someone who loves a car and when I was young I didn't have the ambition of a car or something like that.

Obviously I rely on my driving.

I would... learn how to drive... have a nice car... and drive it.

Don't call me when you're stuck in traffic. It's not my fault that radio sucks and did it ever occur to you that there wouldn't be so much traffic if people like you put down the phone and concentrated on the road... besides I can't talk now, I'm in the car behind you trying to watch a DVD.

I just got pinned by a freakin' twelve year old.

Because of these new car models there is suddenly on the streets of Delhi a new intolerance by the motorists for both the cows and the cyclists. So for the first time the sacred cow in India, which used to be such a wonderful speed-breaker, is now seen as a nuisance. For the first time, I’ve seen cows being hit and hurt. These guys just go right past, and if the cow is sitting on the road, they don’t care. We can’t afford to have a sacred car rather than a sacred cow.

The beautiful thing about driving was that it stole just enough of his attention - car parked on the side, maybe a cop, slow to speed limit, time to pass this sixteen-wheeler, turn signal, check rearview, crane neck to check blind spot and yes, okay, left lane.

Most of my conscious efforts have ended in embarrassing failure.

Snowboarding is like driving a car. When things are all right, you're on it. But when things go wrong, it goes really, really bad really fast.

You're Bes, I guess?" I said. "Yes," he said. "Your car's a mess," Liz muttered. "If one more person rhymes," Emma grumbled, "I'll throw up.

I can't promise that I won't continue to embarrass people.

The feeling of being halfway through a show and just realizing that there's nothing you can do to save it - it's a horrible feeling.

It's looks like someone slapped you in the face with a fruit roll-up or something!

I'm on the verge of a total breakdown. Sciatica. Taxes. Cars. Fleas, possibly. It's an absurd existence.

If you sit back & spend too much time feeling good about what you did in the past, you're going to come up short next time

Klaus Wulfenbach: Was my son upset? Bangladesh DuPree: Oh, him? Yeah! He's all set to be a hero and rescue her--and then he finds out he'd need fireplace tongs to get her undressed? Yeah, upset is the word.

Take it easy driving– the life you save may be mine.