Michael Ian Black Quotes

I don;t think there's anything wrong with being a dreamer. There is not. But dreams have ways of turning into nightmares.

Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.

When I was in acting classes early on, there were so many people in these classes who were doing great work, and you'd just look at them and say, 'Wow, I hope to someday be like that.' And yet these people never worked. You never saw them.

When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.

Every day I realized I would not be a star.

My first audition was for a commercial for the lottery. I didn't get it, so I hate the lottery.

There are many people in the world who feel that if only they had a bigger car, a nicer house, better vacations, a more understanding boss, or a more interesting partner, then their life would work. We all go through that one. Slowly we wear out most of our 'if onlies.'

You have to look at the discrepancy between what you hoped and imagined and the reality of yourself and all your shortcomings.

I intended to be famous by the time I was 16 and rich by the time I was 20. Curiously, it didn't pan out!

I wanted to be a serious actress, but of course that didn't really happen.

Without movie parts I was reduced to freak status. I just couldn't stand it.

I've been telling people 'I'm going to go to California, and I'm going to be a big star' since the womb, but lately it was immediately followed by, 'Would you like soup or salad with that?'

I came from a very loving home, had a happy life with no great aspirations, but going to the seminary changed me. There was a chunk of my childhood missing. Once I'd realised it wasn't for me, I still felt a tremendous pressure to continue for fear of letting everybody down.

Sometimes you wanna be James Bond, and sometimes you wanna be Marlon Brando until you realize you can't be either!

When I wanted to be an actress, I never wanted really to be the kind of actress I became.

High expectations produce high frustrations.

In the big picture, few of our careers live up to the dreams we nursed when we were young. In fact, one underside of success is that it's nearly always penultimate, and so every accomplishment merely raises the bar.

You see a script, and you say, 'Oh, I can play the heck out of that,' talk to your agent, and he says they don't want to see you. That's heartbreaking.

I wanted to be a dramatic actress. Life doesn't go the way you think it's going to go.

I always wanted to play a cowboy. I just didn't get to do it the way I thought I would.

I've got a lot of silvers. Second seems to be something I end up being. I don't want to be the bridesmaid forever.

For the first time in my life, in my mid-20s, I started to question things. Had I been deceived? I thought I had been destined for something great - to be Whitney Houston or Jennifer Holliday or Phylicia Rashad. I started to realize that a lot of people think that, and it doesn't happen for almost everyone.

When I was young, I was like, 'I want to want to work with this director and that director'. I've stopped doing that. You put yourself in a place where you get disappointed.

I thought I was gonna be a farmer.

This is a terrible confession to make, but after I left the Army I had a number of things to try. I had a great conceit to think that if all else failed I could always go to Hollywood. So when all else did fail I really went to Hollywood. And then I found out how wrong I was.