Henry A. Kissinger Quotes

I've always had a penchant for dialects. I remember getting detention and being told, 'Have a think about where doing these funny voices might get you someday.'

I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

I have one female fan. But she lives with me. I'm not aware of any others.

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

I'm a man of faith. I only fear God, and my wife - sometimes.

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

My wife sent her photograph to the lonely hearts club. They sent it back, said they weren't that lonely.

My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with my family, I definitely share one with her - we find the same things funny.

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you.

I think my wife would take objection to any characterization of me as perfect.

I go to the grocery store with my wife. She goes off to buy something. Where is she, anyways? So I ask the manager, 'What aisle do they keep the wives in?'

I've got a wife who never misses me. Her aim is perfect!

For me, the most indispensable tool for wrapping presents is a wife.

I am a comedian: that means I laugh at things other people don't laugh at and also annoys my wife sometimes.

Your wife is always right, fam.

I would really like to be reborn as my wife, Bhavana, because people keep telling her that she has got a beautiful husband.

My wife saw a mug somewhere that says, 'I'm silently correcting your grammar.' I think that is perfect thing for me.

My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world. This is a paid political announcement.

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

I said to my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?' She said, 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.' I said, 'Try the kitchen.'

My wife loves to shop at Bloomingdale's. I bring her mail there twice a week.

Of course I didn't take my wife to see Rochdale as an anniversary present. It was her birthday and would I have got married during the football season? Anyway, it was Rochdale reserves.

My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.