Adam Rex Quotes

I really like sardonicism and wit. I love the writing of Joy Williams and Lorrie Moore. I like Tina Fey, Amy Schumer.

You could call me a 'card-carrying feminist,' if there were a card to carry.

I'm never happier when writing than when I see gags taking shape - ideally, gags at my own expense. What I like is the shuttling back and forth, serious into comedy and vice-versa, ideally, both in the same sentence, or even simultaneously. The best jokes are always ideas in miniature.

A really good stand-up comic is a poet; it's about the use of language. It can be really poetic. And I like politically conscious comedy.

Well, speaking as a feminist, I'm glad that women can lead--uh, groups of unspeakable magical evil." "Yes," Alan said gravely. "It'd be shoking if the evil magicians were sexist. For one thing, that would mean they were stupid, and having stupid enemies would be a terrible blow to my manly pride.

It's weird the way "finger puppet" sounds okay as a noun... ladies.

If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet.

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I... don't.

The bottom line is down where it belongs - at the bottom.

By rights, satire is a lonely and introspective occupation, for nobody can describe a fool to the life without much patient self-inspection.

I’m really not interested in women as victims. Look at me, I get the last laugh ‘cause I get to be funny about it.

People from the village come up and tease me: 'We hear you've started drawing on your telephone.' And I tell them, 'Well, no, actually, it's just that occasionally I speak on my sketch pad,'

Unlike my subject will I frame my song, It shall be witty and it shan't be long.

First name: Mister; middle name: period; last name T.

There is nothing finer in the world than the telling of tales. Split atoms if you wish, but splitting an infinitive-and getting away with it-is far nobler. Lance boils if you wish, but pricking pretensions is often cleaner and always more fun.

A dog came to my door, so I gave him a bone, the dog took the bone into the back yard and buried it. I'm going to go plant a tree there, with bones on it, then the dog will come back and say, "Shoot! It worked! I must distribute these bones equally for I have a green paw!"

A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don't think of it first.

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie.

MEN, Charlene said. Leave that to you! Willa quipped.

LAST, n. A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.

I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband.

It goes far towards reconciling me to being a woman, when I reflect that I am thus in no danger of ever marrying one.

It takes a heap of sense to write good nonsense

Said Hamlet to Ophelia, I'll draw a sketch of thee. What kind of pencil shall I use? 2B or not 2B?