Richelle Mead Quotes

I’m not superstitious. I’m a witch. Witches aren’t superstitious. We are what people are superstitious of.

I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary.

I don't think you would want to see all five Go-Go's naked - I think we would be scary.

I can't explain witchcraft.

A different word usually came to my mind when I thought of Yeva, though it did sound a lot like “witch.

Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.

I get a lot of my sense of comedy from my mother. She's very funny, but she doesn't know she's funny.

My family is funny. I think you're born with the gene.

I think I was born with a natural way of looking at something and trying to find the ways in which it was odd or funny, Even in the sad or angry stuff, I was, 'Well, but where is the funny part of this?'

The minute you're laughing, some people will say you're laughing at people.

I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother.

Irony is a disciplinarian feared only by those who do not know it, but cherished by those who do

I do not deny that what happened to us is a thing worth laughing at. But it is not worth telling, for not everyone is sufficiently intelligent to be able to see things from the right point of view.

In general satire, every man perceives A slight attack, yet neither fears nor grieves.

I'll drive like my grandma. I'll drive like your grandma." "You wouldn't say that if you knew my gramma.

When I was a child there were many witches, and they bewitched both cattle and men, especially children.

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity.

The best baby-sitters, of course, are the baby’s grandparents. You feel completely comfortable entrusting your baby to them for long periods, which is why most grandparents flee to Florida.

Only the most lucid can see their love as comedy.

Becoming a grandmother is wonderful. One moment you're just a mother. The next you are all-wise and prehistoric.

I’m going back to bed,” Grandma said when Mooner and Dougie left. “This doesn’t look too interesting. I liked it better the other night when you were on the floor with the bounty hunter.” Morelli gave me the same kind of look Desi always gave Lucy when she’d just done something incredibly stupid. “It’s a long story,” I said. “I bet.

There is this false perception that comedians can never be serious. It's like from like the era of court jesters.

I think ultimately, when you believe somebody is going through a situation and it's either awkward or ridiculous, but you believe it, that can be funny.

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist.

My grandmother is a little Cuban woman who cooks all day and speaks Spanish. Your grandmother watches pay-per-view porn." "She used to watch the Weather Channel, but she said there wasn't enough action." -Ranger and Stephanie