Susan Cain Quotes

A widely held, but rarely articulated, belief in our society is that the ideal self is bold, alpha, gregarious. Introversion is viewed somewhere between disappointment and pathology.

I think what he loved about me the most was that I wasn't part of that world. But once we were together publicly, he wanted to change me into that social animal.

If I try and be something I am not, if I try and be cool, and I am not, I am a boring white man in a suit. Usually a pin-striped suit.

Men are more likely to be introverted than women are, but it's really very slight. But the real difference I think is in how it plays out, how it relates to cultural stereotypes.

I don't believe we have a professional self from Mondays through Fridays and a real self for the rest of the time.

Most attractive males talk to most attractive women as if they were Rotarians comparing sales percentages in Des Moines.

The idea is not to please the most amount of people. Growing up in Versailles, the idea was to please the least amount of people.

I was raised in the '50s. I was taught by my father that how I looked was all that mattered, frankly.

I think people perceive me completely differently than how I perceive myself. I see myself as a sweet, cosy, motherly type. We all want people to be more glamorous and daring and adventurous than they actually are.

Having 'best friends' is - at least for me - as outdated and small-minded a concept as the idea of 'Sunday best clothes.'

I would admit I'm an introvert. I don't know why introverts have to apologize.

The frontier between public and private shifts from time to time and culture to culture.

In real life, I'm not super-posh but if that's the stereotype, I really don't care. It could be worse.

Civilization is a conspiracy. Modern life is the silent compact of comfortable folk to keep up pretences.

Society is one vast conspiracy for carving one into the kind of statue likes, and then placing it in the most convenient niche it has.

I think behind closed doors people behave differently no matter what period we're looking at, because people have to stand up straight in public but can slouch behind closed doors - can you imagine wearing those corsets?

The idea is that in any situation, people have a notion as to who they are and how they should behave. And if you don't behave according to your identity, you pay a cost.

I'm not extremely outgoing, but I'm average, I think. When people meet me they'll say, 'Oh you're not that shy...' I never said I was! I see where they're coming from because my biggest single was about being shy at a party - I get it. But it's not 100% accurate.

If society fits you comfortably enough, you call it freedom.

I'm no more or less antisocial than the next person.

We delude ourselves into believing that morality comes from somewhere else, whereas in reality we behave as we've been told to behave.

Most people who have grown up introverted in this very extroverted culture of ours have had painful experiences of feeling like they are out of step with what's expected of them. Parenting can pose unique challenges for introverted parents, who fear that their own painful experiences will be repeated in their children's lives.

We live in a funny time. If you don't go corporate, you can't compete. You're relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that.

The whole system of society tells you what to do.

I spent, whether consciously or unconsciously, most of my career trying to be something other than William F. Buckley's son.