Dorothy Parker Quotes

If I was drunk, I wouldn’t be here at all. And really, this is pretty good for four White Russians.” “White what?” I almost sat down but was afraid the chair might dematerialize beneath me. “It’s a drink,” he said. “You’d think I wouldn’t be into something named that—you know, considering my own personal experience with Russians. But they’re surprisingly delicious. The drinks, not real Russians.

I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.

Whiskey's to tough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth in gear. I hope this refrain, Will help me explain, As a matter of fact, I like beer.

Wine is wont to show the mind of man.

There's nothing better than a cold beer.

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.

I wanna get drunk 'til I'm off my mind. One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

I don't think vodka is useful. I think it's for people who don't like alcohol, in which case, you probably shouldn't be drinking it.

If drunk were cookies, I'd be Famous Amos

With the first drink comes the truth, with the second drink comes wishful thinking, and with the third drink come the lies.

Promise me one thing: don't take me home until I'm drunk - very drunk indeed.

Alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, may produce all the effects of drunkenness.

"What's so unpleasant about being drunk?" "Ask a glass of water."

Whiskey claims to itself alone the exclusive office of sot-making.

Those who think that they have arrived, have lost their way. Those who think they have reached their goal, have missed it. Those who think they are saints, are demons.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Don't think I'm talking nonsense because I'm drunk. I'm not a bit drunk. Brandy's all very well, but I need two bottles to make me drunk.

I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before.

I don't think I've drunk enough beer to understand that.

Trumpets are a bit more adventurous; they're drunk! Trumpeters are generally drunk. It wets their whistle.

Barmaid, bring a pitcher, another round of brew. Honey, why don't we get drunk and screw?

At times like this, adults need a drink

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.