Jim Gaffigan Quotes

It's very confusing to me why people take comedians so seriously.

People want me to be funny all the time. They think I'm being funny no matter what I say or do and that's not the case.

No comedian's wife thinks he's funny. The first few years of the marriage, maybe. I was funny as hell the first couple of years.

A lot of people think I'm a comedian.

Because I don't wear a suit, and have such a horrible boy band face, people assume that I'm not doing satirical material.

Compared to politics, I think sports is funnier, because it's inconsequential. And politics can be real important and all that. The more pointless something is, the funnier it is, you know? And the more grave or important things are... You know, some comedians can get this disease where they get serious all the time.

I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time, but people who meet me are soon disabused of that notion.

You can't do comedy with a beard.

A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious.

If you're watching a comedian on television and he's making a political point, I would say he's gotten too serious.

As far as I can tell, comedians are pretty serious people, and that's why they make fun of things all of the time.

I don't do drama. I'm a comedian.

When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'

I love stand-up comics, particularly those who have embraced podcasting.

Jews have a tendency to become comedians.

The number one job for me is to make people laugh. If I can also make people think, then that's a cool thing.

I was a big Jay Leno fan, so I was sorry to see him go. But my number one person that I watch, she's not late night, but in terms of the comedian genre, is Ellen DeGeneres - love her.

I'm too self-serious for a comedy.

The one thing that has helped sustain my career as an actress and a comedian is that people generally view me as fundamentally stupid.

Obama isn't funny.

You step in with the Seth Rogens of the world, you better have some jokes.

Yes, I've seen Louis CK. I wouldn't in any way make a degrading remark about Louis CK, but the question is do I think anyone is funny? And the answer is not too many people. He might fit right in there.

Music is never inherently funny!

I'm a big fan of Louis CK - I think he's a master of standup.

It's not like every male comic you meet is funny. Like, a lot of them are not funny.