Stephen Leacock Quotes

During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk.

small talk comes from small bones

There is nothing I hate more than meeting someone who has forgotten the art of conversing.

No one will ever shine in conversation, who thinks of saying fine things: to please, one must say many things indifferent, and many very bad.

If it were not for quotations, conversations between gentlemen would consist of an endless series of 'what-ho!'s.

And not to serve for a table-talk.

There's a lot of interviews now where nobody seems to talk about anything. Like it's illegal. But it can be fun if you stay involved. Like most conversations.

What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we're chatting away, nice to see you.

Never ask a bore a question.

Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.

Good talkers are only found in Paris.

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge.

I never have anything to talk about.

Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible.

I hate small talk! I can't do it.

Old Madame du Deffand and her friends talked for fifty years without stopping. And of it all, what remains? Perhaps three witty sayings. So that we are at liberty to suppose either that nothing was said, or that nothing witty was said, or that the fraction of three witty sayings lasted eighteen thousand two hundred and fifty nights, which does not leave a liberal allowance of wit for any one of them.

Foxy girls know that silence may be golden-but only for four seconds. Anything longer and you're heading for Awkward Avenue.

gossip is just the small change of conversation.

If people ask me, I always tell them: "Quite well, thank you, I'm very glad to say." If people ask me, I always answer, "Quite well, thank you, how are you today?" I always answer, I always tell them, If they ask me Politely... BUT SOMETIMES I wish That they wouldn't

The great charm of conversation consists less in the display of one's own wit and intelligence than in the power to draw forth the resources of others.

Well,” Waxillium said. “Perhaps I should begin by asking after your health.” “Perhaps you should,” Steris replied. “Er. Yes. How’s your health?” “Suitable.” “So is Waxillium,” Wayne added. They all turned to him. “You know,” he said. “He’s wearing a suit, and all. Suitable. Ahem. Is that mahogany?

Boo: "Go talk to her." Callum: "About what?" Boo: "Anything." Callum: "You want me to walk up to her and say, 'Are you a ghost?'" Boo: "I do that." Callum: "I love it when you get it wrong.

Atticus had said it was the polite thing to talk to people about what they were interested in, not about what you were interested in.

I am worried that the next generation will not be able to have a real conversation.

Only just the right quantum of wit should be put into a book; in conversation a little excess is allowable.