David Gemmell Quotes

I poke fun of everybody and everything. And who's easier to make fun of than your mother?

If you have a mother-in-law with only one eye and she has it in the center of her forehead, don't keep her in the living room.

Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and I don't believe you do either!

Careful there, Poet. I might start to believe you.

If I fall out, pull this ring? What happens then? I sprout wings and fly?" -Spader in "The Never War

If he was an inch taller he'd be the best center half in Britain. His father is 6 ft 2 in - I'd check the milkman.

You may have your suspicions, your fears, you may even believe there is something, somewhere, terribly, drastically wrong, but because someone else is in charge, because there is a part of the system above you which you don't know, you don't question it, you even distrust your own doubts.

Sirius looked slightly disconcerted for a moment, then said, "I'll look for him later, I expect I'll find him upstairs crying his eyes out over my mother's old bloomers or something... Of course, he might have crawled into the airing cupboard and died... But I mustn't get my hopes up.

In any case, if you ever leave me with a handsome man, do not tell me that you trust me because, let me warn you: that is not what will prevent me from deceiving you, if I want to. On the contrary.

No. No, I don't believe you'd betray me with her. I don't believe you'd cheat on me. But I'm afraid, and I'm sick in my heart that you might look at her, then at me. And regret.

Listen.. to your motor-mouth mother..... Lovely Minato said

I can see that you don’t believe me. Maybe it was the cookie? Well, you refused to taste my cookies last night and honestly, I was going to eat the other cookie, but you looked so tired and sad sitting there, I figured you needed the cookie more than I did.

That traveling man was a two time lover, he took my love, then he took my mother.

Psyche you out?" I repeat. "I'm your FRIEND. I wouldn't do that." He doesn't say anything. I can tell he doesn't believe me-not quite.

It's a good thing I've got to live with you two or I'd be putting this on YouTube later. And mocking you

My mother is from Cairo, Georgia. This makes everything she says sound like it went through a curling iron.

Ah, mother! How do you do?' said he, giving her a hearty shake of the hand; 'Where did you get that quiz of a hat? It makes you look like an old witch...' On his two younger sisters he then bestowed an equal portion of his fraternal tenderness, for he asked each of them how they did, and observed that they both looked very ugly.

Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.

Look to her, Moor, if thou has eyes to see. She has deceived her father, and may thee.

People confuse the word cynicism with the word skepticism. One is “you’re not gonna pay attention to anything, think everything’s screwed up, nothing’s ever gonna work out right”, that’s cynicism. But skepticism is, “you’re presented with evidence and you do your best to draw conclusions based on that”. So, as the saying goes, Bill Nye, do you believe in ghosts? No. However, I would love to see one. Bring it on. I’m open minded to the idea, but the more I look into it in a skeptical frame of thinking, the less likely it seems.

Oh no, Nick" Jaime said in tones of supremely unconvincing shock, "how could you? When my back was turned for one momement. And my food was so delicious.

Obviously I was either onto something, or on something.

In fact, I told our dear friends, the Burrell boys, five boys lived next door to us. "Why, we don't see your dad anymore?" "Oh, yeah. Yeah. He" - I lied. I said, "He comes home at night when you guys are in bed. He gets us up and we play." I said it so much that I started to believe it myself, you know?

My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.

Don't trust a guy who accuses you of infidelity. He's cheating. He's projecting. If you're living that kind of life, you think everybody else is too.