Jackie Mason Quotes

For people to keep saying, 'We want to see more of this guy, even though the shows have not always been out-of-the-box successes,' is a huge compliment to me.

When I was doing theater, I was very successful at believing that I was great, God's gift to the theater.

Well, we're in show business, and I have been making a living in this business a long time and inevitably it means taking what it is that you've done and hopefully you're showing it to a lot of people who like it.

I feel like I've finally made it as an actor. I've been doing this for years and you don't always make a movie that everybody likes.

I've never been fired in my life. From anything. I've never failed at anything I've tried.

Without so much as turning a hair I freely admit that I am one of America's greatest realists.

So you don't have to take us too seriously; I mean, we're already intimidating enough on stage.

At the end of the day, successful box office just means that more people saw what you did and liked it, and that to me is the most important thing. That a lot of people saw it and liked it.

While certainly no pressing threat to Gordon Lightfoot, I knew it was simply a matter of time until I was going to be a star.

Oh, what a shock. My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick up an award.

I'm a legend in this sport. If you don't believe me, ask me.

Someone recently asked what I am most proud of. The thing I'm most proud of is that I'm in my 50s and I'm still a leading lady.

For one thing, you need a lot of self-confidence to be on the top of your field. There are times probably where I appear to be over-confident or arrogant. It's really in the eye of the beholder.

I remember making 'Mr. Show,' thinking, 'Man this stuff is really funny to me.' I don't know if anyone else will love it, but I know I'm going to still watch it in 15 years if I'm still alive and laugh really hard. Even though we had very high standards, we were trying to excite and please ourselves.

I just do the cream-of-the-crop songs in my show. We just bowl them over; they love us. It just keeps getting better.

If people sneak into my show, that's a sign of a good show, you know? If people want to risk getting in trouble with the law to come see you play music, that's a sign you're doing something right.

Growing up, the one thing I noticed was that everyone seemed to laugh at my jokes wherever I went.

Everybody wants to be me. What can I say?

I would still consider myself in the elite group of managers. If it was me against someone else, I'd trust myself.

Without being arrogant, I think I have proved I am one of the best defenders in the world.

I know that sounds arrogant, but you can't not be special and have a 30-year career.

Confidence is a fine trait. Over-confidence isn't.

I don't know if you guys know this but I'm sort of a big deal.

The secret of my success is that no woman has ever been jealous of me.

I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know.