Demetri Martin Quotes

People often get upset when you teach them what is in the Bible rather than what they presume is in the Bible.

Cos people think I'm on drugs and I'm not. I'm really quite... Just a bit of coffee. When I take drugs I start going, Oh, would you like insurance?

people think they know what they're getting, and they're always wrong.

I am passionate about music - and people think because I go to places where I can enjoy music I have to be partying. It isn't true.

To people who don't know me I'm defined by a number of things that people know about me that are entirely untrue.

Most people can relate to that whole annoying thing when people think they know who you are.

The 'Celeb Juice' job was never mine - people just guessed - but it was quite funny to watch the rumours.

Sometimes we misinterpret, sometimes we misunderstand, sometimes we make mistakes.

We all run the risk of thinking that people have common sense sometimes.

When you're quiet, others can form opinions that are way off the mark.

[Some people think] that storytelling is telling jokes. So they have to be discouraged! Then others think that storytelling-is like an encounter group . . .

Often when we think we are knotting one thread, we are tying quite another.

The joy of a party is the newness of people to each other, renewed strikingness of humanity. They love each other, to distraction. Really to distraction. Before they fall into conversation and separate. ... The strangeness, and the hopes aroused by strangeness, are illusions. Mirages arising wherever people gather expectantly together.

Don't express your ideas too clearly. Most people think little of what they understand, and venerate what they do not.

It's a shame i can't be there myself - i like parties. Text me if you think of any good hymns!

I don't understand what people's fascination is with [our] relationship. If we're in the same city, we go out... Sometimes when I'm in L.A., I stay at his [Ben Affleck's] house. But it's not what people think. We're not together, I swear on my life.

I shiver, thinking how easy it is to be totally wrong about people-to see one tiny part of them and confuse it for the whole, to see the cause and think it's the effect or vice versa

Misunderstanding is my cornerstone. It's everyone's, come to think of it. Illusions mistaken for truth are the pavement under our feet.

I'm pretty private as a person - people generally think they know more about me than they do, because I gregariously advertise what I want known. So it pains me to think people might feel they have an insight into my personal matters, which they most certainly do not.

We think in our society today that the way people change is that they have to have a deep desire to change or that the way they change is they have to hit rock bottom. But neither of those things is true.

People get intimidated because they think I have everything, but it's just not true.

They think actors are freaks - that we're a lot of drunks who party all the time and never work. Well, I for one work my tail off.

Everything was meant to wind people up [in Make It Big ]. I don't know why we had this great pleasure in winding people up, but we really did think they would get the joke. And it backfired on us.

Sometimes people mishear my lyrics and think a song's about something it isn't.

At parties, everyone always thinks I'm drinking, but actually I rarely drink. I live on energy drinks, basically. I love vitamin water.