Stephen Colbert Quotes

Bushido is all very well in its way, but it is no match for a 30-06.

You have your pens, Gentlemen, and I have my bayonets. You write with one and I will put the other to work.

Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.

Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth.

You have a 45mm automatic pistol on your lap, and I have a 35mm camera on my lap, and my weapon is just as powerful as yours. (To Black Panther militant Eldridge Cleaver)

Whatever happens, we have got The Maxim gun, and they have not.

The number of Americans killed since 9/11 by terrorism, it's less than 100. If you look at the number that have been killed by gun violence, it's in the tens of thousands. And for us not to be able to resolve that issue has been something that is distressing.

I thought that words and books and pens were more powerful than guns.

Rifles, muskets, long-bows and hand-grenades are inherently democratic weapons. A complex weapon makes the strong stronger, while a simple weapon - so long as there is no answer to it - gives claws to the weak.

England, where no one has guns: 14 deaths. United States...23,000 deaths from handguns. But - there's no connection.

Chicago is like a warzone. Chicago is worse than some of the people that you report, in some of the places that you report about every night, in the Middle East.

The work of art must seize upon you, wrap you up in itself, carry you away. It is the means by which the artist conveys his passion; it is the current which he puts forth which sweeps you along in his passion.

Paintings can make you cry and it's just **colored dirt**.

If some thug breaks into my home I can use my roundhouse kick, but I prefer he look down the barrel of my gun.

Chosen are those artists who penetrate to the region of that secret place where primeval power nurtures all evolution. There, where the powerhouse of all time and space call it brain or heart of creation activates every function, who is the artist who would not dwell there?

If... if... We didn't love freedom enough. And even more - we had no awareness of the real situation. We spent ourselves in one unrestrained outburst in 1917, and then we hurried to submit. We submitted with pleasure! ........... We purely and simply deserved everything that happened afterward.

By virtue of the Deity thought renews itself inexhaustibly every day and the thing whereon it shines, though it were dust and sand, is a new subject with countless relations.

Nick could see the gun shaking in Alan's hand now, in tight, terrified spasms. "Last night we put a magician in the river," Alan said, his voice low and intense as if he was making a promise."Maybe we should send you to join him." "You know the rules," the woman whispered. "Don't shoot the messenger." Nick interrupted, leaning down to speak in her ear. "Do they say 'Don't cut the messenger in half with your great big sword'?

The problem is not gun possession; the problem is manufacturing guns - who's making these guns and how they gettin' out on the street? There shouldn't even be guns for us to possess. If there wasn't any, then it wouldn't be a problem. So we need to go to the source of the problem. They're making all these wars so they can make more weapons and sell them, and they wanna kill more people - they need population control,'cause people have to die in order for this world to continue. That's the government's goal right now.

Great American union rules with a fist, a smile, and a gun. Great American napalm lights up the sky like the sun.

You know I've had people come up and ask me to sign their guns. Sign my name on gun handles and holsters and stuff. I've done it once or twice for law enforcement officials, but when people do that -- and there have been quite a few of them lately -- I always tell them no. I don't want to do that. I don't want my name on that and I hope you use this gun, whatever its purpose is, I hope it's used wisely.

It's the kind of turn that happened to the great country of Germany, when Nazis came over and created tragic things, and they had to be told off. And if we continue this kind of violence and accept it in our country, the rest of the world's going to really take care of us, in a very bad way.

Oh God they got you gun shy You know your skin's as cold as ice Your eyes are double filtered babe You're so afraid to be nice There's no way you're ready To let your defenses down Though I won't come on heavy There is a lesson that I've found.

Rincewind gave his fingers a long shocked stare, as one might regard a gun that has been hanging on the wall for decades and has suddenly gone off and perforated the cat.