Mark Twain Quotes

Nowadays three witty turns of phrase and a lie make a writer.

When I say something untrue on the air, I mean for it to be transparently untrue. I assume people know when I'm just saying something for effect. Or to be funny.

There wasn't any more truth in over half of what any so-called orator said. If it wasn't a Deliberate Lie, why it was an Exaggerated Falsehood.

A lie cannot live.

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

There are two ways of lying. One, not telling the truth and the other, making up statistics.

I like women, but you can't always trust them. Some of them are big liars, like this one woman I met who had a dog. I asked her her dog's name and then I asked, 'Does he bite?' and she said, 'No.' And I said, 'So how does he eat?' Liar!

Exaggeration is a blood relation to falsehood and nearly as blamable.

I'm more of an exaggerator than a liar.

People can lie in letters, but they tend not to. They certainly lie in memoirs.

The biggest insult is that I've been called an exaggerator... I tell the truth as I know it. I don't glamorize the nightmare and horror that I witness; I just digest it and spew it back, with venom.

The average person tells a few white lies.

A half truth is a whole lie.

It contains a misleading impression, not a lie. I was being economical with the truth.

Stop lying about my record.

It is perhaps being economical with the truth.

I don't use the word 'lying' easily.

A lot of rappers lie about who and what they are.

There's a difference between a rumor and a lie.

Don't tell me of deception; a lie is a lie, whether it be a lie to the eye or a lie to the ear.

Someone who lies and someone who tells the truth are playing on opposite sides, so to speak, in the same game. Each responds to the facts as he understands them, although the response of the one is guided by the authority of the truth, while the response of the other defies that authority and refuses to meet its demands. The bullshitter ignores these demands altogether. He does not reject the authority of the truth, as the liar does, and oppose himself to it. He pays no attention to it at all. By virtue of this, bullshit is a greater enemy of the truth than lies are.

Glorify a lie, legalize a lie, arm and equip a lie, consecrate a lie with solemn forms and awful penalties, and after all it is nothing but a lie. It rots a land and corrupts a people like any other lie, and by and by the white light of God's truth shines clear through it, and shows it to be a lie.

I was a little shocked at the elaborateness of the lie.

To be a liar, you've got to have a great memory, and I don't have a memory.

A blunt statement can be as false as any other.