Dave Barry Quotes

You know what the game of golf is, don't you? It's basketball for people who can't jump and chess for people who can't think.

How can you get tired of playing golf?

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Golf: The most ... perfect expression of National Stupidity.

[On golf:] One of the most distressing defects of civilization.

Go play golf. Go to the golf course. Hit the ball. Find the ball. Repeat until the ball is in the hole. Have fun. The end.

My parents both played golf and introduced me to golf when I was 5 years old. They took me to the driving range and I played around at the range and immediately developed an interest in it.

I've taken up golf in the past five or six years, and most of the time there aren't too many people out there that can drive a ball further than I can.

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

I've spent more time playing golf than anything else the last 18 years. Just wanted to be an 80s-shooter. Got there, too.

In fantasy land, I wish I could be a pro golfer. I love golf - the most frustratingly brilliant game on the planet.

One of my favorite things to do is play golf at Braemar Country Club. It's quiet and not overly crowded. The people are nice, and there's wildlife all around the course. As far as my game itself, I can go from a 10 handicap to a 30, depending on the day.

I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles.

We all know, the ones who play golf, know what a wonderful game it is and what a great past-time it is.

When I'm not working, I like to play golf.

I'm just more into playing golf. It's a great thing.

He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie.

I've never played golf with Tiger Woods. To tell the truth, I'm not sure that watching him pound it 100 yards past me all day is something I'd like to do.

Golf isn't just my business, it's my hobby.

It's cool now to play golf.

Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness.

Golf should be taken down and must not be played.

I'm such a lover of golf, and I've been at the Masters a couple times, and I've been so blessed to get to play there.

I do love golf.

I love golf. I love every part of it.