Michelle Wolf Quotes

The girls who like me aren't the ones I like. Or, if I do and they want to commit, I suddenly need tons of time with my friends.

So many times, I have a speech ready but no dice. Always a bridesmaid, never a mother.

I am not unaware of the saying that more tears have been shed over wishes granted than wishes denied.

The indie movie world is like a bad Tinder date, and there are always strings attached.

I hate not giving the people what they want.

I was promised on a time - to have reason for my rhyme; From that time unto this season, I received nor rhyme nor reason.

Life does not owe me a shred.

I've learned the hard lesson that you can't pin your heart on anything until it's a completely done deal.

The process of a date, I think, is terrible. Horrible. Because everything is banal and predicted.

I've always had horrible Valentine's Days.

I never promised you a rose garden.

Though I know he loves me, tonight my heart is sad; his kiss was not so wonderful as all the dreams I had.

I cannot cure myself of that most woeful of youth's follies - thinking that those who care about us will care for the things that mean much to us.

In high school, I didn't date awesome dudes.

If I am not in love, nothing is meaningful to me. I have no energy.

People from New York have been calling, to see if I'm still alive. When I answer the phone, you can hear the disappointment in their voice.

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give.

America is like an unfaithful love who promises us more than we got.

If some longing goes unmet, don't be astonished. We call that Life.

Many women get involved with a man that you pretty much know isn't suitable and you're kind of breaking your rules, but he's attractive in some unknown way. And then he doesn't even realize what a sacrifice you're making by being with him and he dumps you!

So many poems you go into and come up empty.

I never found anyone who was good enough, who I could trust enough.

The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love.

You do not send me to Brooklyn to get a cheesecake and then I come back and you're gone.