Frank Delaney Quotes

Once I saw a duck walking down the street so I went into Subway and ordered two pieces of bread, and they informed me that they could not do that, like there was some speical rule at Subway that two pieces of bread weren't allowed to touch. So the woman asked me what I wanted on the sandwich and I said I do not care, it is for a duck, and she was like oh then it's free. I was not aware that ducks eat for free at Subway. It's like give me a chicken fajita sub, but don't worry about ringing it up, it is for a duck.

You know, I think it's one of those cases where the situation really does dictate your level of ridicule.

The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its small cleverness.

It is difficult not to write satire.

It just happened that the public happened to, uh, appreciate the satirical quality of these crazy things.

I detest jokes - when somebody tells me one, I feel my IQ dropping; the brain cells start to disappear. But something is funny when the person delivering the line doesn't know it's funny or doesn't treat it as a joke. Maybe it comes from a place of truth, or it's a sort of rage against society.

It's just something that's sort of funny, sort of not.

Satire works best when it hews close to the line between the outlandish and the possible - and as that line continues to grow thinner, the satirist's task becomes ever more difficult.

Most jokes state a bitter truth.

'The Sundial' is written with the kind of humor that would make a guillotine laugh.

My sense of humor is a turkey, and I pull it out of the oven and baste it in reality.

I have always found humor in places where humor wasn't necessarily intended.

We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny.

I want the people of New Jersey to jump off a cliff like Kurt Vonnegut so I can show them how to fly. This way, nobody needs to grow any wings, which would be impossible anyway because we're humans and not some kind of bird.

Russian humor is to adapt or make some sense or nonsense out of the insanity of their lives.

Funny is when you're serious.

I think great humor lies in playing the truth of a situation.

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded.

I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.

All the therapists would tell me was that I was the only healthy person they knew.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

It's funny because it's funny.

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.

In the end, everything is a gag.