Rainbow Rowell Quotes

Fashion makes me laugh.

But I do mean to say, I have heard her declare, When at the same moment she had on a dress Which cost five hundred dollars, and not a cent less, And jewelry worth ten times more, I should guess, That she had not a thing in the wide world to wear!

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none.

Fashion for the most part is nothing but the ostentation of riches.

Some of the pictures I must say every now and then I just think are going to be funny. When it gets that much, you might as well just pull out all the stops and make it more of a burlesque.

It's a grim business, this being funny. Every time you come up with a strong, satiric idea, the world tops it.

I draw from the most pompous people, who are the people that make me laugh the most.

I wasn't surprised at all. In fact, I thought, why stop there? Why not add the Big Show, or Chris Jericho, or the whole state of Nebraska for that matter? And don't you think a wrestling ring is a little old school, Lilian? Why not put the match in a shark tank, with real live sharks? Hungry sharks! And the only way to beat your opponent is to stuff him down a shark's throat, and pin the shark. Wouldn't that be a hoot?

I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".

Comedy aims at representing men as worse, Tragedy as better than in actual life.

The thing about Donald [Trump] is the jokes write themselves. I don't even think of it to be trolling. What he says is the joke.

Laughter is the climax in the tragedy of seeing, hearing and smelling self-consciously.

If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up.

When I see hipsters wearing Mao hats or Lenin T-shirts, I'm grateful. It's like truth-in-labeling. For now I know you are: Woefully ignorant, morally stunted, purposively asinine, or all three.

Perhaps you are thinking: 'But a tank costs several million dollars, not including floor mats. I don't have that kind of money.' Don't be silly. You're a consumer, right? You have credit cards, right? Perhaps you are thinking: 'Yes, but how am I going to pay the credit-card company?' Don't be silly. You have a tank, right?

My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She wears a 9x12.

Ridicule, the weapon of all others most feared by enthusiasts of every description, and which from its predominance over such minds, often checks what is absurd, and fully as often smothers that which is noble.

ARMOR, n. The kind of clothing worn by a man whose tailor is a blacksmith.

Truth! Freedom! Justice! And a hard-boiled egg!

I'd heard of Evergreen Care Center before. Cass and I had always made fun of the stupid ads they ran on TV, featuring some dragged-out woman with a limp perm and big, painted-on circles under her eyes, downing vodka and sobbing uncontrollably. "We can't heal you at Evergreen", the very somber voiceover said. "But we can help you to heal yourself." It had become our own running joke, applicable to almost anything. "Hey Cass, "I'd say, "hand me that toothpaste." "Caitlin," she'd say, her voice dark and serious. "I can't hand you the toothpaste. But I CAN help you hand the toothpaste to yourself.

If you can see the handwriting on the wall... you're on the toilet.

Tragedy is the most ridiculous thing.

He plants his feet stubbornly, adopting what he must think is an heroic post. He's just begging for a pigeon to fly by and relieve itself.

We wouldn't want to be like the Swiss, would we? That would be awful! We'd be rich!

The ideal kitchen-sink novel: Throw in everything but the kitchen sink. Then add the kitchen sink.