Sarah Palin Quotes

Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of half those long words, and I don't believe you do either!

Here comes the pope saying, "Well, that may be true about Cruz, but you build walls, and we Christians don't do that. So you're not a Christian, either." Sometimes all you can do is chuckle. I mean, you need a break from it some. You just can't be intense and wadded up all the time here, folks.

Here's one thing I never say anymore: These people can't be that stupid, can they?

Some [people] are really smart. You know who you are. Some [people] are really thick. Unfortunately, you don't know who you are.

I've taken up the Bible again, somewhat in the spirit of W.C. Fields - looking for loopholes.

It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.

nice is such a rip-off.

I find it highly amusing that Donald Trump talks about "Make America Great Again." He doesn't make a thing in America, except bankruptcies.

Oh, HONESTLY, don't you two read?

Yes; poor Bunbury is a dreadful invalid. Well, I must say, Algernon, that I think it is high time that Mr. Bunbury made up his mind whether he was going to live or to die. This shillyshallying with the question is absurd.

Just for the record, the weather today is calm and sunny, but the air is full of bullshit.

Your flattery is as full of contempt as your insults were.

There was a f**king review in f**king Melody Maker [of the first BOSSANOVA single, 'Velouria'] - 'Sounds like someone's been taking singing lessons'. Like, motherf**king A! I am the singer. Who do sing SONGS. It's like I never sang before; like I was - I don't know - reading PROSE on my previous records and now I sing. EXCUUUUUUSE me for singing

As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why politics is such a rich area for us, because politicians make promises, and they don't keep them, and when we point out the difference, we get the laugh.

Independent and uninvolved. Must be nice. -Tris

A soprano in Massenet's Don Quixote complained that she had missed her entry in the aria, "because Mr. Challiapin always dies too soon." "Madam, you must be profoundly in error," said Sir Thomas, "No operatic star has yet died half soon enough for me."

I wouldn’t expect you to get it, Daisy. You don’t look at anything besides Photoplay—and even then somebody’s gotta explain the pictures to you.” Daisy’s mouth hung open in outrage. “Well, I never!” “Yeah, that’s what you tell all your fellas, but the rest of us aren’t buying it. Go away, now, Daisy. Shoo, little fly!

don't you hate people who say they're not complaining and then complain?

Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side

She's perfect, so flawless, I'm not impressed.

Mock mockers after that That would not lift a hand maybe To help good, wise or great To bar that foul storm out, for we Traffic in mockery.

I haven’t prepared my speech yet,” I sighed and Tove stood up. “What should I say about him?” “Well, if you plan to say anything nice, you’re going to have to lie,” Tove muttered as he walked over to his closet.

Some one called Sir Richard Steele the "vilest of mankind," and he retorted with proud humility, "It would be a glorious world if I were.

Well then. Will the naysayers please leave the universe?

Four inch nails is more like it!