W. Somerset Maugham Quotes

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

A fine quotation is a diamond in the hand of a man of wit and a pebble in the hand of a fool.

Brevity is the soul of wit.

Eloquence and wisdom are by no means the same thing. They are sometimes united, but not necessarily ; perhaps never when eloquence is the mere gift of nature rather than the slow result of nature and art conjoined. A ready supply of glittering language and an ardent conception, i. e. a fertile imagination, and quick feelings, united to a retentive memory—these are together quite sufficient to make an orator, but by no means to make a wise man; to make a speaker or even a leader in a popular assembly, but not necessarily a statesman.

I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.

Wit can be beautiful, because it expresses and distills an idea.

Wit gives an edge to sense, and recommends it extremely.

A sense of humour is common sense dancing.

Wit beyond measure is a man's greatest treasure.

Neatness of phrase is so closely akin to wit that it is often accepted as its substitute.

It is having in some measure a sort of wit to know how to use the wit of others.

If we did not know all His retorts by heart, if we had not taken the sting out of them by incessant repetition in the accents of the pulpit, and if we had not somehow got it into our heads that brains were rather reprehnsible, we should reckon Him among the greatest wits of all time. Nobody else, in three brief years, has achieved such an output of epigram.

I pity the shrimp that matches wits with you Jeeves

The impromptu reply is precisely the touchstone of the man of wit.

Truth, when witty, is the wittiest of all things.

Wit is, in fact, the eloquence of indifference.

I am sick to death of cleverness. Everybody is clever nowadays. You can't go anywhere without meeting clever people. The thing has become an absolute public nuisance. I wish to goodness we had a few fools left. ALGERNON: We have. JACK: I should extremely like to meet them. What do they talk about? ALGERNON: The fools? Oh! about the clever people of course. JACK: What fools.

After wisdom comes wit.

True wit has a grave intention.

[S]ince brevity is the soul of wit, And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes, I will be brief.

Those who object to wit are envious of it.

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it.

Silence is the best substitute for brains ever invented.

One can have a wit, but not a witless