Conan O'Brien Quotes

Lieutenant Governor Paterson - blind, black guy - gets sworn in. First thing he says is, 'By the way, cheated on my wife. Let's just get that out in the open right now.' He didn't need to admit that. He's blind. Could have said it was an accident.

It is with great disappointment that I call on Representative Anthony Weiner to resign. The behavior he has exhibited is indefensible and Representative Weiner's continued service in Congress is untenable.

Hugh Grant will always be associated with his scandal, and so will Max Mosley.

Once upon a time we did not focus on a president's private life.

Because of an adulterous affair I shall leave office in November.

If he had an affair while in office I misjudged him. I thought he was just doing that to the country.

I think it would be much better for the country and for Clinton personally to resign. I come from the business side. If you had a chairman or president in the business world facing these allegations, he'd be gone.

I was no longer committing adultery by that time, the impeachment trial.

On Foreign Secretary Robin Cook: If a man cannot keep a measly affair secret, what is he doing in charge of the Intelligence Service?

A baboon in a forest is a matter of legitimate speculation; a baboon in a zoo is an object of public curiosity; but a baboon in your wife’s bed is a cause of the gravest concern.

Christopher heard a pair of women gossiping nearby, whispering in disapproving undertones. "... Ramsey was found flirting in a corner with a woman. They had to drag him away from her." "Who was it?" "His own wife." "Oh, dear.

Bill Clinton described himself as he's "the big dog." He's out hunting, and he found something. Some woman was emitting some, you know, come-to-me smell or whatever, and he was picking up on the scent.

My wife has lived with at least five different men since we were wed - and each of the five has been me.

I think one thing we share [with my wife] is a complete bottomless disdain for Bill Clinton.

Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoir has come out. So much of her personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep with an intern.

How about this John Edwards thing? Imagine that, a personal injury attorney who turns out to be a sleaze ball. Who could have seen that coming?

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

I had not been married scarcely five minutes, and made one proclamation of the Gospel, before it was reported that I had seven wives.... I am innocent of all these charges.... What a thing it is for a man to be accused of committing adultery, and having seven wives, when I can only find one. I am the same man, and as innocent as I was fourteen years ago; and I can prove them all perjurers.

Particularly on social media, there is that level of detachment, some people feel like they can say whatever pops in their head .

First the husband tried to make the wife his possession, and once she is a possession he loses interest. There is some hidden logic in it: his whole interet was to possess; now that is finished, and he would like to try some other woman so he can again go on another trip of possesion.

It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the middle of the night; I woke up and went Oww! What was that for?, and she goes I dreamt you were making out with Faith Hill. I said I wasn't dreaming anything! Send her over to my dreams, and we'll both be happy.

Never tell. Not if you love your wife...In fact, if your old lady walks in on you deny it. Yeah. Just flat out and she'll believe it: "I'm tellin' ya. This chick came downstairs with a sign around her neck 'Lay On Top Of Me Or I'll Die.' " I didn't know what I was goin' to do.

Is it rude to Twitter during sex? To go "omg, omg, wtf, zzz"? Is that rude?

The reference to John Podesta is general. It is not specific. And, by the way, he does have his time in the barrel shortly thereafter.