Simone Elkeles Quotes

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

Everything is ironic to me. There are moments I find hysterical, but I'm probably the only one who would find that, except for a few people.

In awe, I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like an ambered chariot towards the ebony void of infinite space wherein the tethered belts of Jupiter and Mars hang, for ever festooned in their orbital majesty. And as I looked at all this I thought... I must put a roof on this toilet.

If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?

Moon rocks are OK when everyone is eating.

We're just one rock surrounded by this immense universe.

Funny is funny is funny.

My dad's sense of humor was direct and sometimes surreal - his quick wit is well known amongst our family and friends. He raised me on Spike Jones records and W.C. Fields movies, and his sense of humor fell somewhere in between.

You know, I think it's one of those cases where the situation really does dictate your level of ridicule.

The pun exists in a social and political void, caring nothing for the issues of its day, content merely to display itself in its small cleverness.

I put up my thumb and it blotted out the planet Earth.

The lunar flights give you a correct perception of our existence. You look back at Earth from the moon, and you can put your thumb up to the window and hide the Earth behind your thumb. Everything you've ever known is behind your thumb, and that blue-and-white ball is orbiting a rather normal star, tucked away on the outer edge of a galaxy.

There is nothing that is so serious that you can't also see its comic side. Comedy is a way of talking about the most serious things.

There are thousands of ways to make people laugh - satire, black comedy, slapstick.

I don't take myself or the species too seriously. You have to laugh at everything.

Most humor comes from truth. In the end, if I can laugh about it, who cares?

Hence I feel no shame in asserting that this whole region engirdled by the moon, and the center of the earth, traverse this grand circle amid the rest of the planets in an annual revolution around the sun. Near the sun is the center of the universe. Moreover, since the sun remains stationary, whatever appears as a motion of the sun is really due rather to the motion of the earth.

Everything is funny, if you can laugh at it.

I said to the waitress, "There's a fly swimming in my soup." She said: "You've got too much soup - he should only be able to paddle."

I was studying the sky like I was an astronomer, except it was daytime and I didn't have a telescope, so I was just an idiot.

We need more fruitcakes in this world, and less bakers!

MAGNETISM, n. Something acting upon a magnet. The two definitions immediately foregoing are condensed from the works of one thousand eminent scientists, who have illuminated the subject with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human knowledge.

This is insane," I said blankly. "I'm the instrument of an all-powerful primordial deity's wave of chaos and destruction." "That's kind of extreme" said Dante jovially. "It's not like you work for Google or anything.

What the deuce is it to me?" he interrupted impatiently: "you say that we go round the sun. If we went round the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or to my work.

Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, "Did you fall?" He said, "No, I'm tryin' to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket."