Maz Jobrani Quotes

The thing is, I love a celebrity interview. Doesn't matter how big or how small. It could be Hillary Clinton or the guy who made it to the third round of 'Popstars,' I'll read it.

In Hollywood, for me, it's all about the movie stars and the singers. Baseball players don't draw too much attention; we're low key. I'm good with faces and sometimes bad with names, but I'll walk up to somebody if I know who they are... show them some love.

I still find it a bit surreal that Sir Elton John can call Troy Deeney from Chelmsley. It's quite entertaining but a bit surreal.

When someone says, 'I recognize you,' I'll say, 'Congratulations on having a TV.' It's a little joke.

When you're in a business where you're surrounded by celebrity a lot - and I can go into a room and those are a lot of the people that I know, and know very well - that in itself can be intimidating.

Like Lindsay Lohan and Lauren Conrad, Barack Obama is addicted to his BlackBerry.

A lot of people didn't know I was doing Broadway. They thought I was one of those guys who was famous for being famous. I was the one who sat next to Charles Nelson Reilly and said funny things.

The best part about reality shows is that they make you a well known name.

I think there are bigger problems in the world than Jeremy Clarkson.

Some guy in Germany has my face tattooed on the back of his calf. That was wild. It was a decent tattoo job, but that's kind of weird for me.

A lot of times, people are simply interested in seeing me because I was on television.

I met Kim Kardashian the other week, and she knew who I was! I walked in the room, and she was like, 'I should text Kanye saying you're here; he showed me your music.' It's really hard to digest. Also, I don't think you should digest stuff like that.

One thing I learned from my old man is that people are going to be happy for you, but not too happy. When the tables are turned and you're hanging out on top with a guy like Randy Orton, who is in the main event at Wrestlemania, not all the guys are going to like you.

I knew who Buckley and Vidal were growing up, being a political junkie.

I love watching 'House of Cards.'

Between Newt Gingrich, [Rudi] Giuliani and Chris Christie, they've got like the trifecta of misogyny.

In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan Fairchild, Michelle Phillips, Catherine Oxenberg and Dana Delany. Finally a Democratic presidential candidate with good taste in women.

I've wondered why the famous congregate with each other. Perhaps it's to assure each other that they really are as important as they think they are.

I have the good fortune of knowing both John McCain and Donald Trump well, both men have more in common than the today's media hype would have you believe. Both blazed trails in their careers and love our great nation.

Everybody who's been on television more than once wears in public an expression of fatuous affability. Because you may be addressed at any moment by somebody.

It's so sad, you get less starstruck when you start realizing that it's not a big deal.

At first all I wanted to be was famous; then I realized that fame had nothing to do with talent. I felt that I didn't do anything quite well enough, that I was one of those people who was famous but not very talented. So I said, okay, I'll be the Dinah Shore of the Seventies, on TV all the time but nobody quite knows why.

I've not won different awards - many, many times - so luckily I've practiced that whenever you are nominated for anything, you enter into this marvelous, fantabulous bubble called the bubble of nomination. The minute the envelope is opened and your name isn't called out, the bubble bursts. And no one calls you up the next day to say, 'So sorry you didn't win,' or 'You looked gorgeous - nothing. If you win, you get about another 24 hours in that lovely bubble and then - pop - you are slightly wet all over from the bubble and realize that you have to get on with real life.

I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”

I cannot believe the volume of famous people I run into in my life, and that's part of the reason I love diary format.