Graham Chapman Quotes

An unfrightened prisoner makes an unlikely informer.

Fear works. It is more effective than any drug, tactic, or torture device.

The torture situation is an external conflict, a contest between the subject and his tormentor … drive him [the subject] deeper and deeper into himself until he is no longer able to control his responses in an adult fashion.

He looked like he'd just seen the Ghost of You Better Shut Your Mouth.

The Unexpected always comes at the most awkward times.

[Adam picks up the camera] "I have to get a shot of this." The reaction in the room was swift, and unanimous: every single person except me raised their hands at once to cover their faces. The accompanying utterances, though, were varied. I heard everything from "Please no" (Maggie), to "Jesus Christ" (Wallace), to "Stop it or die" (I'm assuming it's obvious).

Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.

Anything can happen in one day.

The cardinal rule for hosting the Miss USA and Miss Universe beauty pageants is to expect the unexpected.

And the next thing is that every war is going to astonish you in the way it occurred, and in the way it is carried out.

But I was afraid of the questions (much more than the accusations) you might both put to me.

Cowardece is often just another name for being taken by surprise.

On her daughter, Jessica: Kids at her school will sidle up to me and say, Does Jessica know what happens in book 4? Does Jessica know the title of book 4? And I keep saying, No! There is no point kidnapping her, taking her around back of the bike shed, and torturing her for information.

It's looks like someone slapped you in the face with a fruit roll-up or something!

The things we worry about the most are never the things that bite us. The sharpest teeth always take their nip of us when we are looking the other way.

No grand inquisitor has in readiness such terrible tortures as has anxiety and no spy knows how to attack more artfully the man he suspects, choosing the instant when he is weakest; nor knows how to lay traps where he will be caught and ensnared as anxiety knows how, and no sharp-witted judge knows how to interrogate, to examine the accused, as anxiety does, which never lets him escape.

He’s being held prisoner on a ceramic-lined cookie sheet in the oven,” Thomas said. “I figured he couldn’t jigger his way out of a bunch of steel, and it would give him something to think about before we start asking questions.” “That’s an awful thing to do to one of the Little Folk, man,” I said. “I’m planning to start making a pie in front of him.” “Nice.” “Thank you.

Expect the unexpected, my mother once said. Because the unexpected most certainly will be expecting you.

Sometimes, unexpected things can happen.

It makes me laugh when you bring two things together which have nothing to do with one another.

Cowards make the best torturers. Cowards understand fear and they can use it

The essence of humor is that it should be unexpected, that it should embody an element of surprise, that it should startle us out of that reasonable gravity which, after all, must be our habitual frame of mind.

That execution will take place here." She runs her fingertips over the table beneath her. "On this table. I thought it would be interesting to show you." "I knew what would happen when I came here," I say. "It's just a table. And I'd like to go back to my room now.

Lord, there's danger in this land, you get witch hunts and wars when church and state hold hands.

I thought that I had been asked every kind of question possible.